A Letter to My Daughter on Your 13th Birthday

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Dear Emily,

Congratulations! You’ve officially entered your teenage years. I anticipated that you would be thrilled about this milestone, but your mixed feelings are understandable. The changes brought on by puberty, the challenges of middle school, and the impending journey into high school can feel overwhelming. You’re in a critical period of self-discovery, and I can only imagine how difficult that must be.

Just yesterday, you mentioned that birthdays seem insignificant, stating that they’re merely one more year gone and that life ultimately ends anyway. Hearing you express that was concerning, as I have wrestled with similar thoughts throughout my life. I tried to uplift your spirits, but I sensed my words did not resonate with you in that moment. I hope, however, that over time, you will reflect on my encouragement.

It’s essential to understand that your life holds value. You matter deeply, and what you choose to do with your life is significant. You possess the potential to positively impact those around you, to love generously, serve selflessly, and believe in something greater than yourself. I genuinely believe you have a unique purpose, one that carries eternal significance. I pray you always recognize the beauty within you. I am eager to witness how that beauty will unfold and the difference it will make in others’ lives.

Being your mother is both a joy and a daunting responsibility, as I strive to guide you correctly and avoid causing you unnecessary pain. I regret the complexities surrounding your father and me, and I hope that one day you can comprehend the reasons behind our decisions. I appreciate the grace you’ve shown me during this challenging time.

Your intelligence is a remarkable gift. Please utilize it wisely. I am grateful for your dedication to your studies, even if you struggle to see their relevance and endure the daily grind of school. Remember this: scholarships matter.

I admire your strength and your growing awareness of social equality and diversity—qualities that I wish I had embraced at your age. Your passion for significant issues inspires me, and I commend you for choosing to engage with the world on a deeper level.

I know my loud laughter and friendly conversations may sometimes embarrass you in public. I felt the same way about my mother, who often tested my patience. But I hope you’ll come to appreciate these moments in time, just as I did.

A word of advice: honesty is crucial. Lying can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings, both for you and for those around you. I promise to respect your courage to be truthful, and I will always be here to support you.

As you navigate your teenage years, I understand that you may want to distance yourself to explore your identity. Just remember, I’m always here whenever you need me.

You mentioned not wanting to work or have a job in the future. If you figure out how to make money without working, please share that secret with me!

Despite the mornings when you seem distant, I am grateful to have you as my daughter. Thank you for indulging me in our Downton Abbey marathons; moments like those are precious to me.

I love you unconditionally.

With love,
Mom

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Summary

Emily, as you turn 13, embrace this pivotal phase of your life. Understand that your journey holds value, and your choices can shape not only your future but also impact those around you. You are loved and supported, and honesty will guide you through the challenges ahead.