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Can’t They Remain Small Forever?
This morning, during my drop-off at school, my 5-year-old son, Ethan, unexpectedly turned away from me, refusing to share a kiss. He shrugged, conveying a nonchalant “I’m too cool for that,” as my lips met empty air, causing a pang of sadness to settle in my stomach. Is it too soon for this? My heart whispered.
As I walked away, I couldn’t help but murmur, “I’m not ready for this.” The notion of my children growing up fills me with an urgent desire for more time—more time to play, to giggle, and to cherish every moment.
I often jokingly plead with my kids to remain little, to which they respond with laughter, “Mommy, we can’t! We’re growing!” I chuckle along, yet inside, I’m grappling with a profound wish that I could pause their development. If only they understood how desperately I want them to stay small.
There’s so much I’ll miss when these days are behind us. The warmth of their hugs, the sweetness of their tiny hands clasped in mine, and the joy of receiving their imaginative artwork, along with random treasures like rocks or cans of shaving cream, presented as if they were precious gems. I’ll miss their laughter, their playful spirits, and the soothing sound of their tiny voices as I hold them close.
Yet, I know there are aspects I won’t miss—such as the tantrums, the incessant whining, the nightly struggles to get them to bed, and the messes that seem to multiply as if by magic. I certainly won’t miss my son’s relentless mission to destroy every meal I prepare, as if orchestrating a scheme to drive me to exasperation.
However, the joy of having my son snuggle into my arms at the end of the day to express his love, or catching a glimpse of my daughter’s radiant smile as she tells me she’s happy, makes it all worth it.
Regardless of my feelings, time continues to advance. Children mature, and we age as life flows by. I cannot prevent my kids from growing up or slow down the passage of time. All I can do is embrace each moment, fully immersing myself in their childhood, so that when they eventually spread their wings and leave, the essence of their little selves will always reside in my heart.
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Summary:
The author reflects on the bittersweet experience of watching their children grow up, expressing a longing for the joys of their early childhood while acknowledging the challenges that come with it. The narrative captures the essence of parental love, the inevitable passage of time, and the importance of cherishing every moment spent with children.