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Understanding My Sons’ Long Hair: A Parental Perspective
It’s not uncommon for my sons to be mistaken for girls due to their long hair. When strangers make this error, I kindly correct them, using “he” or “him” as appropriate. Often, they appear flustered, apologizing profusely, as if implying that my sons looking feminine is somehow inappropriate. I typically respond with a light-hearted, “Don’t worry about it,” because I understand that long hair on boys can lead to such assumptions.
I have always had an appreciation for long hair on men. In my college years, I encouraged my boyfriends to grow their hair out, and I spent considerable time attempting to prevent my husband from visiting the barber. Therefore, when I became a mother to boys, I was determined to let their hair grow.
The journey began with my first son, who was born with little to no hair and remained that way for nearly a year. Eventually, his hair started to grow, but it took on a wild, fuzzy appearance reminiscent of Einstein. In contrast, my second son’s hair grew in straight, shiny, and stylishly long, embodying the classic surfer look. My youngest son is still developing his hairstyle, but his growing beachy curls are delightful.
Family reactions to their long hair have varied. My mother and in-laws prefer the conventional short styles for little boys, with my mother expressing her desire to take them to the barber herself. These objections seem rooted in traditional gender norms where boys have short hair and girls have long hair. However, I choose to disregard these expectations.
I have faced additional criticisms regarding my sons’ hairstyles. Once, someone remarked that their hair appeared unkempt. While I found humor in it at the time, I later realized that a small trim could help maintain their length without sacrificing style. At one point, I had to trim my oldest son’s hair to manage the frizz, though he ultimately preferred the shorter style and is now committed to growing it out again.
The key aspect of this decision is that my sons enjoy their long hair. My eldest son is intent on growing his hair out, while my middle child, who proudly sports surfer hair down to his shoulders, often declares his ambition to grow it to his knees. The youngest will have his say when he is old enough, and if he expresses a wish for a haircut, I will support his choice, even if it brings me some sadness.
Maintaining their long hairstyles requires effort. We ensure that nothing becomes tangled in their hair; if it does, a bath and thorough washing become necessary. Each morning, I brush and sometimes straighten my middle son’s hair, which he claims to enjoy.
Occasionally, other children confuse them for girls and question their choice of Star Wars shirts. We gently correct these misconceptions, and most kids quickly grasp the information. So far, my boys have not encountered any unkind remarks regarding their hair, possibly due to its increasing popularity among boys or the community we associate with.
I cherish their long, flowing hair because it represents their individuality and personal expression. It is a beautiful deviation from societal norms, and I celebrate their choice to embrace it.
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Summary
My sons have long hair, which often leads to misunderstandings about their gender. Despite societal norms and family objections, I support their choices and celebrate their individuality. Long hair is not just a style; it represents who they are and their freedom to express themselves.