As a parent, you may be familiar with a specific non-verbal communication known as “the look.” This expression, often a sidelong glance from your child, serves as a powerful reminder of their desire for validation. It invokes nostalgia, harkening back to earlier parenting days when such looks were frequent and meaningful.
During significant moments, such as sports games or school performances, children often look to their parents for reassurance and recognition. This glance is not merely a gesture; it reflects their pride and need for acknowledgment of their achievements. It’s common for young athletes to score goals or make plays while frequently checking the stands to ensure their parents are watching. These looks can sometimes lead to distractions, such as a little leaguer being caught off base or a dancer forgetting their next move while searching for parental approval.
Recently, I attended a kindergarten graduation ceremony for a friend’s grandson, and “the look” was evident throughout the event. Each child, while receiving their diploma, would glance at their parents, seeking the proud expressions that affirm their efforts. Even though I was there for just one graduate, I could easily identify the proud parents based on their child’s focused glances.
In our sports-driven household, we strategically chose our seating in the bleachers to minimize distractions for our children. As they grew older, they attempted to downplay their need for acknowledgment, but their eyes still darted toward us during crucial moments on the field or court. I developed a signature response to these looks: a fist over my heart, symbolizing pride, gratitude, and appreciation for their achievements. Not every small victory warranted this gesture, but significant moments, such as game-winning shots or pivotal hits, certainly did.
As our children have aged and moved out, the occurrences of “the look” have diminished. However, moments still arise that tug at the heartstrings. For instance, when my daughter departed for graduate school, she turned back to wave and offered “the look.” I instinctively tapped my chest, overwhelmed with emotion. Similarly, when my oldest son was sworn into the New York State Bar, he gave us a look filled with gratitude, prompting another heartfelt reaction from me. His wedding, however, saw him direct that look toward his new wife, a moment we graciously accepted.
This summer, as our youngest son received his college diploma, he turned to us with a prolonged look. This moment encapsulated years of smaller milestones we had missed, and as he celebrated, he mouthed a “thank you.” I returned the gesture with a gentle chest tap, affirming the bond we share.
In conclusion, “the look” serves as an essential aspect of parental engagement, reinforcing the connection between parents and children. It signifies a child’s desire for acknowledgment and validation, which is critical for their emotional development. As parents, remaining attentive to these moments is vital, as they represent the culmination of our children’s efforts and the foundation of our relationship.
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Summary
“The look” is a vital non-verbal cue in parenting that signifies a child’s need for parental acknowledgment. It highlights the bond between parents and children and the importance of being present during significant moments in their lives.