Motherhood and Its Impact on My Body

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Over the past two years, I have been undergoing physical therapy, and I attribute much of my physical decline to motherhood. I remember years ago watching a makeover show where a woman lamented, “I just let myself go after having children!” At the time, I thought, “How could someone let that happen?” Fast forward seven years and two children later, and I find myself in the same boat.

Letting oneself go extends beyond appearance; it signifies a profound neglect of self-care, both physically and emotionally. I could have starred in a reality show titled “Where Did I Go?”—a question that echoes in my mind.

While I consider myself incredibly fortunate to be a mother, I’ve unintentionally sacrificed my well-being for my family. One lesson I’ve learned through physical therapy is that one issue can trigger a domino effect of bodily problems. My knee injury led to weakened quadriceps, causing my kneecap to shift, which then impacted my ability to navigate stairs and resulted in hip pain. This cascade of complications has led to tight IT bands, shoulder misalignment, poor posture, and a host of other issues.

Physical therapy has served as a stark reminder of everything that has gone wrong. I realized I was standing, walking, and balancing incorrectly. The experience was both educational and emotionally taxing. I felt anger and frustration, questioning why my body had betrayed me. I sought to understand the facts: I never fully recovered from knee surgery because of my pregnancies; I didn’t rebuild strength while caring for my children; and breastfeeding and carrying them led to my shoulders collapsing inward.

Logically, I know my current injuries are rooted in a skiing accident, but emotionally, it’s easier to attribute the blame to my children. They are physically present, while the skier who caused my accident is not. This blame weighs heavily on me, often feeling more burdensome than carrying a 40-pound toddler.

Around the same time my body began to fail, I also started experiencing anxiety. I developed a rare congenital eye condition, began grinding my teeth, and felt utterly exhausted. While my children didn’t cause my breakdown, they were the last straws on a camel’s back that was already strained. This crisis forced me to prioritize my own care. I could no longer wait for someone to intervene and help me, as I had once imagined a publicist would for a celebrity.

Despite feeling like I was on the fast track to becoming my elderly neighbor, I learned to appreciate simply being upright. I assembled a team of support: a skilled massage therapist for my hip, a psychotherapist for my mental health, a Pilates instructor for overall strength, and several babysitters, including my father, to enable me to attend these appointments.

I began to value even the simplest movements, accepting that I might never run again. I understood that my posture issues and shoulder alignment would likely be lifelong challenges. I stopped carrying my three-year-old every time he demanded it, took more naps, and incorporated leg lifts, presses, shoulder exercises, and other tools into my routine. The fear of not being able to keep up with my children motivated me to act.

Most importantly, I recognized that being a mother doesn’t mean being a martyr. Prioritizing my well-being does not detract from my role as a mother. Now, I no longer attend physical therapy. My shoulders are back where they belong, and I can often navigate stairs without pain. However, leaving therapy was intimidating. I worried whether I could maintain my progress independently.

The answer is yes, but I’m not alone in this journey. My family—my three-year-old, my five-year-old, and my husband—have been my support team, helping me rebuild my strength with love and laughter. Though motherhood may have fractured me, it also has the power to heal.

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Summary:

Motherhood significantly impacted my physical health, leading to a series of injuries and challenges that required physical therapy and self-reflection. Through support and self-care, I learned to prioritize my well-being without sacrificing my role as a mother.