7 Ways Motherhood Has Made Me More Like My Partner

Becoming a mother has led to some unexpected transformations in my habits and mindset, aligning me more closely with my partner. While I wouldn’t classify myself as overly feminine before having children, I did enjoy wearing makeup and dressing up. Now, I often find myself longing for the days when I had time to focus on my appearance. After a long day of parenting, I might find solace in a beer and a TV show, feeling less like the woman I used to be and more like a stereotypical man. Here are seven ways motherhood has shifted my behavior to mirror my partner’s:

1. Quick Get-Ready Routine

Previously, I would invest over an hour preparing for the day, showering, styling my hair, and selecting the perfect outfit. Now, I can get ready in just five minutes, often opting for a quick shower and minimal makeup. It turns out that not stressing about my appearance saves time, which is crucial when managing kids. I’ve become the one waiting in the car for my partner to finish getting ready!

2. Public Disrobing

Breastfeeding my second child has changed my perspective on modesty. Initially, I felt uncomfortable nursing in public, but the urgency of a crying baby quickly shifts priorities. I now find myself more at ease with this aspect of motherhood, despite my earlier hesitation. It’s amusing how I can look at someone else’s bare chest and think, “Oh my gosh, cover up!” while I’m doing the same.

3. Culinary Shortcuts

While I call my slow cooker my “wife,” I often find myself relying on it for meals rather than cooking from scratch. Cooking has morphed into a process of throwing together whatever is in the fridge, and when I create something edible, I boast about it as if I’ve just prepared a gourmet feast. This keeps my husband from expecting elaborate meals regularly.

4. Redefining Intimacy

With children interrupting our evenings, the idea of “foreplay” has taken on a new meaning. Our four-year-old often makes surprise visits in the night, and with a baby finally sleeping through the night, post-sleep intimacy has become the new standard. Forget cuddling, though; it’s too hot, and my partner snores!

5. Embracing the Gross

My tolerance for grossness has dramatically increased since becoming a mother. During my first child’s diaper-free phase, I found myself catching messes with my hands to avoid stains on the carpet. I’ve tackled everything from cleaning up throw-up to dealing with sticky hands without batting an eye. This shift in perspective is something I never expected, yet it’s become a part of my daily life.

6. Smell Test Acceptance

I used to be meticulous about laundry, but now I find myself assessing whether clothes are wearable after a day or two of use. With an increased laundry load and limited wardrobe options, I often engage in the “smell test” to determine if something can be worn again. It’s a far cry from my previous standards, but practicality wins.

7. Selective Listening

My listening skills have taken a hit, thanks to the constant interruptions from my children. I used to pride myself on engaging in conversations, but now I often find myself using my partner’s tactic of responding with “right” even when I’m not fully tuned in. My son’s persistence in conversation has taught me that I need to adapt to the chaos around me.

Am I stereotyping? Maybe. However, blending some of my partner’s qualities with my own has proven beneficial. He embodies nurturing in ways I never imagined, and my newfound adaptability has made our household more resilient.

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In summary, motherhood has reshaped my behaviors and attitudes, bringing me closer to my partner and enabling me to embrace aspects of life I might have previously rejected.