No Longer Silent: A Personal Journey to Empowerment

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Twenty-nine years ago, in a distant country, I experienced a traumatic event: I was raped. For many years, only a select few were aware of this part of my life. At the time, I was young and terrified, choosing not to report the incident. My primary desire was to return home and leave the ordeal behind. However, healing took considerable time and therapy, yet I remained silent about my experience.

My silence was not rooted in fear of my assailant; I was fortunate to return home soon after and did not have to live in constant dread of encountering him again. Rather, I chose to stay quiet because I feared being labeled a victim. The thought of being seen as “that girl” for the rest of my life was more unsettling than the trauma itself.

Throughout my high school and college years, I observed the consequences of such labels: whispers, rumors, and the shame that accompanied them. I didn’t want to be pitied or stigmatized; I wanted to live my life without the shadow of that night lingering over me. I believed that if I acted as if nothing had happened, I could lead a fulfilling life.

Recent discussions surrounding the allegations against prominent figures like Bill Cosby have prompted many to question why survivors often remain silent for years. This reflection made me realize how my own silence perpetuated a culture that allows such acts to continue unchecked. By not speaking out, I not only allowed my attacker to evade justice but also left other survivors feeling isolated. This cycle of silence and shame must be broken. If we can eliminate the stigma surrounding sexual violence and stop defining individuals solely by their trauma, we may foster a culture where reporting incidents becomes less daunting.

Thus, after nearly three decades, I am reclaiming my voice. I am not defined by that night. It is merely one of countless memories that contribute to who I am today. Please remember me as I am:

• A mother.
• A wife.
• A lawyer.
• A friend.
• A daughter.
• A sister.
• An aunt.
• An occasional blogger.
• A curator of black cardigans.
• An unapologetic user of expletives.
• An enthusiastic cook of meals often rejected by my children.
• An aspiring surfer.
• A skilled sleep trainer.
• A somewhat neglectful houseplant caretaker.
• An underachiever on Pinterest.

I encompass all these roles, but I refuse to remain silent any longer.

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In summary, it is crucial that we break the silence surrounding sexual violence and empower survivors to share their stories. By doing so, we can challenge the prevailing stigma and create a culture that supports healing and justice.