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I’m Really Sorry My Big Family Bothers You
When you’re juggling four energetic boys under six, finding ways for them to expend their energy is key. We recently signed up for our first family 5K, an event encouraging kids of all ages to participate while dressing as superheroes in the fight against cancer. My little guys, of course, were dressed as ninja turtles. They received shiny red capes, the weather was stunning, and they loved the cheers from runners as we made our way along the route. It was nearly a perfect day—until it wasn’t.
As we approached the finish line, a voice called out from behind us, “Thanks for taking up the whole lane. I appreciate it!” Curiosity piqued, we turned around. We were definitely not blocking the lane; I was walking on the far right with the baby in a carrier, my husband was ahead pulling two of our boys in a wagon, and the fourth was biking a few yards in front. There was ample space to our left, so we were really just taking up “two-wide.”
The guy continued to shout at us, clearly aiming his comments our way. My husband asked, “You mean we’re in your way?” as the man rushed past us. “Yeah, thanks a lot,” he replied with a huff. I called after him, “This is a family walk for cancer!” but he just sprinted ahead, finishing a few paces before us. My husband tried to talk to him afterward, but he ignored us completely, which left us both fuming. The ride home was filled with us reliving that frustrating moment.
This isn’t the first time we’ve faced such irritation. There was the instance when a guy on his phone scolded us for taking too long to pick out canned crab while navigating our cart full of kids. Another time, someone yelled at me for taking time buckling all four kids into their car seats while he impatiently waited for the parking spot. I’m really starting to grasp how much of a nuisance we are to the world.
So, I’d like to take a moment to apologize.
I’m sorry I didn’t consider you, the stranger, when planning my family.
I’m sorry that your needs weren’t my top priority.
I’m sorry my car safety practices didn’t enhance your parking experience.
And I apologize that the oversized multiple-child carts at Walmart feel like maneuvering a Zamboni through the aisles, taking up your precious space.
To that speedy runner, I sincerely regret if my thoughtlessness in bringing my kids to the family 5K added those precious seconds to your impressive finish time. How dare I!
If you’d like to keep me and my crew away from your paths and out of your local grocery, please feel free to sign a petition at www.gokickrocks.com. Your support can help ensure that large, happy families of adorable children stay home where they “belong.” Then we can focus our energy on helping the elderly and disabled.
By the way, if you’re interested in more family-related content, check out this post on home insemination that might provide some valuable insights. There’s also a great resource on in vitro fertilisation that I recommend.
In summary, while my family may seem like a nuisance to some, we’re just trying to navigate life with joy and energy.