I’m Exhausted: A Parent’s Struggle

home insemination Kit

I’m completely wiped out. Last night, I somehow managed to sleep in my king-sized bed, on a top bunk, in a twin bottom bunk, and even on the floor next to the crib with my head resting on a Boppy—all between 10 PM and 6:30 AM.

I’m so exhausted that I’ve left marks on the hardwood floor from pacing at night. Honestly, I should probably invest in a pedometer because I think I’m burning more calories in my nighttime strolls than during the day. Forget that, I know I am, thanks to all that walking and endless breastfeeding.

I’m so tired that even the dog has given up on sleeping in my room because he needs his beauty rest. I’ve poured orange juice into my coffee and even squeezed tinted moisturizer onto my toothbrush.

I’m so out of it that I wore my pants inside out and didn’t realize it until I was at my Pure Barre class, where the other moms gave me funny looks. I quickly ducked into the bathroom to fix it.

I’ve even searched for my keys in the freezer because, let’s be real, they’ve ended up there before when I was unloading groceries and absentmindedly stashed them with the frozen veggies. This morning, I drove my kids to school with my home phone still tucked in my purse.

I’m so tired that I’ve hung up the phone after making an appointment, completely forgetting the details. I was too embarrassed to call back. My five-year-old even made a Mother’s Day project at school where she listed my favorite thing as sleep and my drink of choice as coffee. It’s been over two years since I’ve had a full night’s sleep without interruptions.

I’m basically a milk factory for my nine-month-old. I’ve googled “baby sleep” so many times in the past nine months that I’ve lost count. I get infuriated reading comments from parents on sleep blogs, bragging that their little ones slept through the night at just six weeks old thanks to their “nighttime routine.” Thanks for nothing, anonymous commenter—I’ve never heard of that concept before.

I’m so fatigued that I own more than a dozen sleep books. Once, I thought I sideswiped a parked car while three kids screamed in the back of my van. I was running late, and when I returned five minutes later, the car was gone. I even drove to the police station to confess my potential mishap. The officer told me to go home and take a nap, saying someone could take advantage of me in my state of exhaustion.

With the baby on my hip, I explained to the officer that I drive a minivan and have never bumped into anything until now—my car’s sides are all scraped up from trash cans and garage mishaps. One day, I struggled repeatedly to park my minivan by the curb on an empty street while a construction worker watched my struggles. I ended up driving around the corner, too embarrassed to continue my failed attempts.

Making small talk has become a challenge. I constantly put my foot in my mouth and then cringe at what I’ve said. Yesterday, when my daughter’s teacher complimented her pink Converse, I blurted out, “Oh, her husband is obsessed with shoes!” I meant my husband, of course.

I’m so drained that I don’t even like candy, but I find myself shoving handfuls of chocolate chips or stale Halloween candy into my mouth just to survive until bedtime. I know I’ve done this to myself; having three kids under five pretty much guarantees someone will be awake at night. If I’m up three times with the baby and twice with my three-year-old, that’s five times total. Three kids mean never-ending sleepless nights.

I’ve truly grasped the meaning of “bone tired.” I ache all over. I get why sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture. I’m so tired—I need to sleep train the baby, like, yesterday!

This article was originally published on Oct. 28, 2014.

If you’re dealing with similar exhaustion, check out this resource about home insemination or this authority on home insemination kits. For more information on pregnancy and related topics, visit this excellent NHS guide.

Summary: Parenting can be a relentless cycle of sleepless nights and endless exhaustion, leaving many parents feeling overwhelmed and out of sorts. The struggles of juggling multiple children and the challenges of sleep deprivation are real, leading to humorous and relatable moments that many can understand.