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Embracing Leo: A Journey Beyond Labels
Sometimes, I lose sight of the fact that our son has Down syndrome. It’s easy to get caught up in his two-year-old tantrums, his cheeky grin, and his unstoppable spirit. Leo is both headstrong and sweet. When his big sister throws a dramatic, “I’m four and everything is terrible” tantrum, he’s the first one to check on her. He loves to climb into your lap, reaching up with his tiny fingers to gently stroke your cheek, a simple way of saying “I love you.”
Of course, he also has a knack for mischief—opening drawers, pulling things out, and tossing them onto the floor. When you catch him in the act, he ducks his head, peeking out from under his eyebrows with a cheeky grin that screams “sorry.” Sometimes he’ll help clean up, but more often than not, he wanders off to create more chaos. Music sets him off into a dance party, and he can’t resist joining in on a round of “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or “Twinkle Twinkle,” even if he was upset just moments before. Leo can make music from anything, including grooving to the fireworks on the Fourth of July.
Sometimes, I forget that Leo is just Leo. I see him as my son, his sister’s brother, an incredible, determined little boy, not as a child with Down syndrome. But that reality hits hard when someone reminds me in a not-so-kind way. Like that cashier who gave me pitying eyes and whispered, “I bet you wish you had known beforehand. They have a test for that, you know…”
Shock and anger coursed through me. I thought about confronting her, but I’m not a fan of orange jumpsuits. Instead, I decided to use humor. “I know, right? It’s SO much harder to get rid of them once they’re here. Trust me, I’ve tried…” Her jaw dropped in disbelief. I leaned closer and said, “So, what you’re saying is that it’s okay to end a life while it’s still inside, but not once it’s out? For me, there’s no difference. Just so you know, we were aware of everything about him during my pregnancy. There’s no way I would ever allow harm to come to either of my kids, even while they’re considered ‘disposable.’”
Sometimes I forget that others don’t see Leo the way I do. They see a “Downs kid,” a burdened family, or a child who must be suffering. I’m reminded when I catch their pitying looks or overhear their clueless comments. I have to remind myself that it’s not their fault—they simply don’t know. They haven’t heard Leo’s contagious laughter or seen the fierce love his sister has for him, even when she claims she doesn’t like “boy babies.” They haven’t cheered for him as he reaches new milestones, swelling with pride as parents do.
I occasionally forget that I once shared the same misconceptions about Down syndrome before Leo came along. All I knew was from textbooks, which only left me crying and picturing a lifeless, helpless child. It’s funny how that changes once you meet someone and see them for who they truly are.
In the end, they’re just Leo, Mia, Sam, or Ava, and that’s how it should be.
Resources for Understanding Parenthood and Fertility
For more insights into navigating parenthood and understanding various aspects of fertility, check out some great resources at Johns Hopkins Medicine and Make a Mom. If you’re looking for additional information, don’t forget to check out our other blog on terms and conditions.
Summary
As a parent, it’s easy to forget that our children with Down syndrome are just kids. They bring joy, mischief, and love into our lives. It’s important to remember that misconceptions still exist in society, but those who know them personally see past labels.