Hey there! So, you’ve got that one friend on Facebook who just knows how to push all the wrong buttons? Don’t worry, I’ve got some tips to help you navigate this social media minefield and emerge victorious!
1. Disqualifications
First off, if you’ve ever posted about believing in chemtrails (the stuff people think is just contrails but you know is really a government conspiracy to control our minds), then you’re out of the running for this contest. The same goes for sharing articles from sites like naturalnews.com or infowars.com—sorry, but those wild theories really give you an unfair edge over the mere annoyances!
2. Rumi Quotes
Also, if you’ve ever posted a quote from Rumi, you’re disqualified. I need to keep the contestant count down, and this seems like the best way. Remember, Rumi wisely said, “The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore.”
3. Vaccine Discussions
Sharing that vaccines cause autism? You’re not eligible either (see Rule 1!). But, if you’ve mentioned that everyone should have the right to “share their truth” about vaccines, you’re good to go!
4. Expressions of Gratitude
If you’ve expressed gratitude over your mom’s cancer being in remission or that you avoided a truck crash, you can enter, but let’s be real—using “grateful” in those contexts might not make you a top contender. However, if you’re thankful for “yummy snacks” or your mom’s illness giving you a chance to face your “issues around impermanence,” then you’re in! Bonus points if you include the hashtag #grateful with a picture of a field of lupin, just make sure it’s from before this contest started.
5. Name Changes
If you’ve changed your name multiple times, please let me know what else you’ve gone by on Facebook. If you were once “Pirate Fox,” just write that out instead of drawing a fox in a pirate hat. If you’ve switched names more than 14 times in two years, send a printout of all your status updates and comments—there’s a special prize for extra annoying name changes!
Bonus Entries
And hey, if you’re “just taking a break from Facebook” and your last status was about being more present, don’t hold back on entering! But if you’ve taken the Buzzfeed quiz “Which Game of Thrones Character Are You?” please stay out of this contest, as that could complicate things.
So there you have it! Dive into the contest and may the most annoyingly creative friend win!
Additional Resources
If you’re interested in home insemination, check out this link for more info on the topic intracervicalinsemination.com. For those looking for an authority in this field, visit makeamom.com. And if you want to explore options like IVF, Hopkins Medicine has excellent resources to help you out.
In summary, navigating the wild world of Facebook can be a challenge, but with these strategies, you can manage the most annoying friends and still have a blast!