You Know You’re a Parent When…

1. home insemination Kit

   Remember when wristbands were your ticket to the hottest clubs? Now they’re your pass to petting zoos. Just recently, we celebrated a three-year-old’s birthday at one. It was a blast! Later, when my parents asked, “Whoa, what were those wristbands for, a rager?” I had to laugh and say, “Yep, for a petting zoo!” That’s how we roll now!

2. You’ve totally embraced the 5:30 p.m. dinner scene. Who knew that early dinners at family-friendly restaurants could be so lively? We’re all about gathering with friends and their kids, making sure the chaos multiplies with the fun.

3. But let’s be real, you can’t help but feel a little guilty about the mess you leave behind. Exiting a restaurant, you just keep your head down, walking briskly to avoid those judging stares. I’ve worked in restaurants, so I know the aftermath of puffs and tears can be quite the disaster. Oops.

4. Happy Hour? More like Crappy Hour during the week. I borrowed this clever term from one of my mom friends, and it couldn’t be more spot-on. Seriously, those hours from 5 to 7 p.m. can be intense! Where’s my husband? Where’s bedtime? But don’t worry; couch time with ice cream is just around the corner.

5. Your Netflix recommendations have taken a hit. I used to enjoy thrilling shows like House of Cards, but now it’s all about Barney and Thomas the Train. Thanks, kids, for ruining my Netflix vibe.

6. You can now find elevators and ramps like a pro. I never knew that public places had to be accessible, but now I’m a master at locating every elevator in every department store in Orange County thanks to my trusty stroller.

7. If your kid loses a toy, you’ll sprint back to retrieve it. Whether you’re at the mall or the beach, that lost lovey is a big deal. In our house, Cindy (our mini-Cinderella) is practically family—losing her means mobilizing a full search party.

8. Your home decor has taken on a new look, featuring a delightful mix of colorful toys and baby gear. Swing? Check. Jumper? Check. Toys everywhere? Double check! If your living space resembles a playroom, let’s be friends.

9. You’ve rediscovered the joys of classic kid foods. Chicken fingers, grilled cheese, and mac ‘n cheese? Yes, please! I mean, the calories don’t count if I only steal bites from my little one, right?

10. Going to the dentist now feels like a mini-vacation. I used to dread those appointments, but now I relish the 40 minutes of peace while the sitter watches the kids. Total bliss! Although, I wouldn’t mind if my dental hygienist talked a little less.

11. You’ve probably tasted amoxicillin recently—and you might even think it’s kind of tasty. Just kidding! Not really, right?

12. You’ve come to understand that love and frustration can coexist in the blink of an eye. Kids are lovable little monsters who can drive you up the wall one minute and steal your heart the next.

13. You love your kids so much, sometimes you want to wake them up just to cuddle. It’s late, and you’re thinking, “Aww, I miss her!” It’s the kind of silly thought that crosses your mind, even if you know it’s a terrible idea. Parent brain, right?

14. You feel like you’ve joined an exclusive club, and it’s pretty fantastic. Parents share that knowing glance, having survived sleepless nights and countless messes together. Just avoid discussing things like sleep training or vaccinations unless you want a heated debate!

15. Finally, you truly appreciate everything your own parents did for you. Just wow. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

So here’s to all the parents out there navigating these wild times, often fueled by love, laughter, and the occasional chaos. And if you’re looking for more insight on home insemination, check out this helpful resource and visit Make a Mom for some great tools. Don’t forget to explore our other blog post on intracervical insemination too!