Navigating Love’s Rocky Path

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Sometimes, it’s the look he gives me when he’s frustrated that sets me off. Other times, it’s the way he critiques me or my many perceived flaws. Honestly, there are moments when I want to tear my hair out because of the things he says – and the way he says them! He has this knack for stressing me out when all I want is a peaceful flow to our days. And let’s not forget how he gets overly excited sharing a story, leaving out key details that leave me completely lost.

The “he” I’m talking about is my husband, Ryan.

I can only imagine that he has his own list of my quirks that drive him absolutely bonkers. Sure, I could mention a few, but there are just too many to count, and I wouldn’t want to bore you with the details.

Alright, fine. Here are a few because it’s only fair:

• He absolutely despises when I leave my laundry inside out.
• I think he wishes I’d take on laundry duty more often.
• He can’t stand that I don’t rinse out dishes thoroughly before loading them into the dishwasher.
• He wishes I was better with finances – and he’s right.
• He hopes I’d be less sensitive and let things slide more easily.
• He wishes I had even a smidge of interest in sports, even if it was just for his sake.
• He wishes I’d play outside with the kids more often.
• He wishes I didn’t feel so exhausted all the time, thanks to Lyme Disease.

Some of our little annoyances we voice to each other, but a lot of it just comes with being married for nearly a decade. A few years back, those minor frustrations morphed into bigger grievances. Our spacious home suddenly felt cramped, and we often felt like we were stepping on each other’s toes. The resentments and frustrations we both felt seemed overwhelming, especially since our communication was pretty much nonexistent.

As time went on, the gaps between us widened, and we found ourselves breathing easier when we weren’t together. Yet, we were still a family, which made it hard to find that necessary space. With two strong-willed kids in the mix, the situation didn’t exactly improve. Would things have been different if they were all sunshine and rainbows? I doubt it.

About two years ago, Ryan and I found ourselves on the brink of divorce. We had gone pretty far down that road, with lawyers and all the heavy legal jargon you can imagine. I was even ready to buy a townhouse, a stark contrast to our large, traditional home, perhaps reflecting my subconscious desire for change.

We had serious discussions about how to break the news to the kids and divide our assets. It all felt surreal, mainly because it was. Just two weeks before I was set to move into my new place and right before we were about to sign the divorce papers, we hit a wall. We both took a step back and had a moment of realization: neither of us truly wanted a divorce. Sure, we had things we wanted to change in our marriage, but ending it wasn’t the answer.

One thought kept replaying in my mind. Ryan is my team. He’s my go-to person when something good happens or when life feels like it’s falling apart. I couldn’t just walk away from my team.

Marriage is tough. Really tough. Anyone who says otherwise is either not married or living in a fantasy. You bring together two individuals with their own dreams and quirks, and it’s supposed to work seamlessly. But sometimes it doesn’t. It requires ongoing communication, respect, and what often feels like a ton of compromise. And honestly, it can be exhausting. Even now, after we’ve recommitted to each other.

Earlier, I shared what drives me a little crazy about Ryan. So, it’s only fair to mention the reasons I realized I didn’t want to lose him:

• He always knows how to make me laugh.
• He loves our family – and mine – wholeheartedly.
• His loyalty to friends is unmatched.
• I admire his passion for what he loves (yes, even sports).
• He doesn’t let me stay sad for long.
• He’s an incredible father.
• When he’s in the zone, he’s a great husband.
• He always tells me my hair looks nice, even when it’s a mess (and that’s just sweet, right?).

Every day, we show up for each other, and each day feels a bit different. Some days we’re a fantastic team, while others we clash. But every day, I’m reminded that the person I chose for my team is the one I need right now – and I’m committed to being there for him too.

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Summary

Marriage is a challenging journey filled with ups and downs. Despite the frustrations and differences, it’s crucial to recognize the strengths in your partner and the bond you share. Communication, respect, and a commitment to each other are vital in navigating the rocky paths of love.