Parents: Stop Monitoring Your Kids’ Online Grades

home insemination Kit

A few hours later, my daughter would be diagnosed with a stress-induced trauma to her mouth—a term I’d never heard of before but apparently it’s quite common among stressed-out teens, according to our family dentist, who performed some quick oral surgery.

While we waited for the dentist, who seemed unfazed by yet another teen’s stress-related condition, my daughter turned to me and said, “Did you see the email about the PupilPath colors?”

“What’s PupilPath?” I asked, mishearing her.

“Not PupilPath. PupilPath!” she laughed. “Seriously, I can’t believe I’ve been in that school for so long, and you still don’t know what it is. You’re such a weirdo!”

“Is that the online site where you can look at your grades?”

“Yes! Oh my gosh,” she rolled her eyes dramatically.

“Well then, I’m not the weirdo; I just don’t care,” I replied.

PupilPath is the digital realm where my daughter’s grades are stored, although I have no clue how to access it—and I’m not about to learn. Students and parents can check grades at any time, down to the tiniest decimal. I vaguely recall an email about this when she was in ninth grade, which I promptly ignored. Why would I want to know every little detail of her grades when the final report card suffices? It’s school, not a sports match!

Honestly, I’d rather not know the nitty-gritty of her grades, just like I don’t want to obsess over my daily Amazon ranking or the fluctuating balance in my retirement account. Seriously, who cares? It’s a cycle of ups and downs—just like life.

Some parents argue they need to monitor grades to help their kids improve. But I say, really? If you’re steering them, how will they learn to succeed or fail on their own? And kids, if my generation made it through high school just fine without constant grade updates, so can you! It’s much less stressful, and stress, as we know, is harmful to our well-being.

I remember when my dad was battling pancreatic cancer during the 2008 financial crisis, I had to tell him to stop checking his stock portfolio every few minutes. “It’s not good for your health!” I insisted. I wasn’t a doctor, but I could see how his anxiety worsened with every glance at those numbers. The truth is, once he was gone, none of that would matter anyway.

He got my point: obsessing over those online numbers was not just stressing him out, it was distracting him from enjoying the life he had left. I get it. When my first book was released, the first thing I did in every hotel room was check my Amazon ranking. I visited 12 cities on that tour, but all I remember is that number going up and down. I regret that.

How did we reach a point where parents check their children’s grades more than discussing the content of their reading? Because of this, our kids are now so caught up in the minutiae of their grades that they miss the bigger picture of actual learning.

For example, leading up to my daughter’s exams, she told me that if her grade was 90 or above, it appeared in blue with little gold stars next to it. If it was between 80 and 90, it was green; 65 to 80 was yellow. Then, out of nowhere, some administrator decided to change the color code so that only grades of 98 and above were blue. Can you imagine the uproar? Parents were frantic, pushing their kids to raise their grades from green to blue.

One student even posted on an anonymous confessions page, saying, “Changing the PupilPath colors seems pointless, but those stars made me feel accomplished. The smallest change can have a big impact.” Reading that made me want to cry. We’ve lost sight of what really matters—over 1,700 students from my daughter’s school wasted time worrying about color codes instead of diving into a good book or tackling a challenging math problem.

The cost of this obsession with grades is far greater than the $260 I spent on my daughter’s dental issue. We’ve sacrificed our sanity, our kids’ minds, and our sense of well-being for the illusion of control that real-time online data provides.

But go ahead, call me the odd one out. I’ll be in my room reading or creating art, or outside enjoying nature and reflecting on life—which is what really matters in the grand scheme of things.

For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out our other blog posts, like this one about intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for trusted information on artificial insemination, Make a Mom is a great authority on the topic. And for additional resources, visit the CDC’s page on assisted reproductive technology.

In summary, as parents, we should reconsider our approach to our children’s education and focus on fostering a love for learning instead of fixating on grades. Encouraging self-reliance and reducing stress can lead to healthier, happier kids.