Time Thieves: 7 Outrageously Impractical Time-Management Tips

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It feels like time is slipping through our fingers, doesn’t it? Our days are crammed tighter than a suitcase packed for an extended trip, and I try to avoid eye contact with that overflowing laundry basket as if it might judge me. Seriously, modern life has a wild relationship with time—how to manage it, how to enjoy it, and all that chatter about finding BALANCE. Workdays stretch on like chewing gum, and our kids are already on the fast track to understanding the art of not having enough time.

We’re busy. Or at least, we’re constantly broadcasting how busy we are. Who really has time to dive into another time-management system? Not me. Do you? Didn’t think so. You’re jam-packed!

Most days feel like a race against the clock. I often can’t remember what I’ve done since breakfast, let alone my optimistic plans for the day. I’m sure they included a list of tasks I’d hoped to tackle—like scheduling that long-overdue mammogram or revisiting that intimidating writing project that looms over me like a specter. (I’d explain the specter, but I’m too busy. Look it up instead of thinking about that mammogram or colonoscopy you’ve been avoiding.)

There were people I planned to respond to—thoughts that seemed vital while I was in the shower but got overshadowed by the chaos that followed. Did I really eat that leftover English muffin my child abandoned? It felt like chewing on a piece of coral. Or was it today that I over-caffeinated and ended up spraying Cheerios into oblivion instead of just scooping them out? I took a moment to ponder the metaphor of my failed winter garden, then thought about seeing my pal, an acupuncturist, to fix all my problems—before a text pulled me back into the whirlwind.

We don’t really change our time-management style, do we? I remember watching my brother’s hilarious procrastination as a kid. He’d leave all his homework until the last minute, and I’d be a bundle of nerves watching him scramble. I took pride in my checklists and early starts, yet somehow, he still bested me in grades and is now the one with the successful career. Meanwhile, I’m left with my tidy lists.

Since I don’t believe in magical time-management tips that will change your life, let’s look at these as ways to deal with the guilt over not having enough time.

1. Let go of some things. Today, you can either wrap up a work project or craft something homemade, but not both. Embrace that!
2. If you opt for work, consider sending the laundry out. That stinky hamper will no longer haunt you, and you’ll get everything back neatly folded by tiny robots. No guilt for spending a little cash on this lifesaver.
3. When you’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to get irritated by others. Pick at least one group to let slide—maybe your kids. I know they can be annoying (trust me, I get it!). But your irritation could lead you to overschedule them, making them too busy and you more annoyed. One day, they’ll be off living their lives, and you’ll miss them.
4. It’s perfectly fine to postpone that task until tomorrow.
5. But don’t delay planning your vacation. Even just thinking about it can bring a sense of calm and make you nicer to everyone around you.
6. I know you won’t take this to heart, but you might regret spending time curating and posting those perfectly selected moments that only a few people will ‘Like’. You’ll feel much less busy if you stop scrolling and posting. I’m wasting my breath suggesting this, because I know you’re not going to stop.
7. Know this: You’re doing great! You’re working hard most of the time. Try to ease up a little and embrace some “nothing” time every now and then.

These might be the worst tips you’ve ever heard, and if you try them, you might bomb spectacularly at life. But I can promise you this: You’ve spent the last few minutes reading something worth your time.

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Summary:

Time management can feel overwhelming. Instead of stressing, consider some unconventional tips, like letting go of certain tasks, choosing to outsource chores, and giving yourself permission to relax. Remember to plan vacations to break up the chaos and don’t be too hard on yourself; you’re doing your best!