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A Heartfelt Message for Our Daughters from a 9-Year-Old
You know how it goes: pure, genuine, and uncomplicated. I love watching my daughter, Lily, and her friend Mia play together, giggling as they braid each other’s hair. They’re just 8 and 9 years old, blissfully unaware that this innocent game of “salon” is a sneak peek into the beauty world. To them, it’s just a fun sleepover activity—no competition, no harsh judgments, and definitely no jealousy involved. Their laughter fills the room, and even when they bicker, it’s always resolved with ease.
But then, my mind wanders to my role as a counselor. I can’t help but envision them five years from now, sitting in my office, feeling lost and scared to face their peers. I worry they might feel isolated and embarrassed, blaming themselves for the cruelty often found in teenage life. They may look to me for guidance, hoping I’ll provide the magic words to help them navigate these turbulent waters.
I escape that heavy thought for a moment, returning to the joyful scene before me. In this moment, there’s no fear or insecurity. These girls share their feelings openly, with no worry about repercussions. Their trust in each other is evident. They lift each other up with compliments, not tearing each other down. They haven’t yet been introduced to social media’s darker side—they’re blissfully unaware of the potential for online bullying or harmful posts.
They haven’t felt the sting of betrayal or the pain of having their reputation shattered with a single click. Self-harm and thoughts of despair are still foreign concepts to them. They still believe their bodies are theirs and that they are capable of anything. Their confidence shines through, and they know how to set boundaries and say “no” when necessary. They have a voice and feel empowered to use it, constantly affirming: “I am a girl. I am smart and strong. I can do anything.”
As I work with teenage girls, I often picture Lily. The girls who sit across from me have become like my own daughters over the years. I strive to help them see their beauty and worth, sitting knee-to-knee, hoping they can see what I see in them. They are our daughters, sisters, friends. They often feel imperfect, and I wonder when that shift happens—when they start doubting themselves and listening to negativity from others.
On tough days, I extend my hand to them, admitting that I don’t have all the answers. Sometimes, we just sit in silence, knowing we can’t change the past. But it’s in those moments they must learn to believe in themselves again. To remember the simple joys of being young girls, brushing hair and building friendships. They need to trust that those genuine connections still exist and that they are enough. They must remind themselves that they are worthy, valuable, beautiful, and capable.
As I write this, I can hear Lily and Mia in the next room, whispering secrets and giggling. I sneak a peek through the door and see them bundled under blankets, free to express themselves without fear of judgment. They’re sharing their thoughts in a diary, crafting a world where girls are strong, kind, and confident. Reading their words fills me with hope for the future of our girls. We can create a world that is different and better for them.
I’m unsure if the words in that diary were written that night, but I jot them down anyway. They are simple yet powerful. I know they need to be shared with those who have lost their way. “I am a girl. I am silly, smart, good at ballet and the monkey bars, and a good friend. I have a kind smile. I like myself,” a girl once read to me. For the first time in ages, I see a smile on her face, a tear escaping her eye as she whispers, “I want to feel like that again.”
And there it is—hope.
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Summary
This heartfelt message reflects on the beauty of childhood friendships and the challenges teenage girls face as they grow up. It highlights the importance of self-belief, trust, and the need for supportive relationships. As we navigate these changes, it’s vital to remind our daughters of their strength and value.