10 Things Only New Englanders Get About Extreme Snow

home insemination Kit

If you’re new to New England, here are some signs you might be in over your head:

1. Since January, you’ve probably spent more time at home than at work or school. Snow days and sick days (thanks to the flu that spread like wildfire) have kept you cooped up. Your supply of tissues has dwindled, and now your nose is sore from using any random paper lying around—including pages from that old IKEA catalog.
2. Your car has suffered from some sort of weather-related mishap. Fingers crossed it’s just a little hiccup. Maybe you’ve been stuck in a snowbank, hit a pothole that ruined a tire, or you’re nursing a serious wrist strain from gesturing at other drivers who seem to think they’re invincible on ice.
3. Personal hygiene? What’s that? With your car buried under drifts, stepping outside feels like a marathon. So why bother getting out of your pajamas? You convince yourself that skipping showers and brushing your teeth is fine because that extra stink is just keeping you warm. Spoiler alert: it’s not, and let’s face it, you smell.
4. You’ve been drinking more than usual. What else is there to do? After binge-watching an entire season of that show everyone’s talking about, your eyes are bloodshot from screen time, and you feel too gross (and sore from shoveling) to connect with your partner. You’ve gone through all your good stuff, and now you’re down to that half-empty bottle of crème de menthe—which, let’s be honest, is now your mouthwash too.
5. You’ve been indulging in way too much food. Don’t stress about your clothes getting tight; the only things you’ve been wearing are a pet-hair-covered sweatshirt and comfy flannel pants. Your desire to cook and bake has reached new heights. Food is comforting, just like standing in front of a warm oven.
6. You’ve made a doomed trip to the hardware store. If you’ve managed to dig out your car and brave the potholes and ice, good luck finding essentials like a space heater, generator, or roof rake (if that last one is unfamiliar to you, consider yourself lucky). From here on out, if it’s not on Amazon Prime, it’s not worth your time.
7. You’re dealing with a trash situation. Garbage pickup is spotty at best, and when it does come, good luck getting your bins through those towering snowbanks. Now your porch is overrun with bags of trash and recycling—most of which are empty liquor bottles and crumpled Amazon boxes.
8. You’ve become a not-so-great parent. You’ve exhausted every fun indoor activity for the kids. At this point, your toddler’s idea of entertainment is shaking a container of popcorn kernels taped shut. In what might be your most desperate moment, you’ll eat the popcorn, curl up in a ball, and let your child watch eight hours of mind-numbing cartoons.
9. You’ve forgotten how to socialize. Any appointments or invitations that don’t have off-street parking? Forget it. When you do run into someone you know, you might just throw your arms around them and sob. The mailman and the UPS driver are now terrified of you.
10. You’re not too bothered when the flooding hits. Once the snow melts, it’s not just your basement that’s soaking; thanks to that ice dam on your roof, water is pouring in through your windows and light fixtures. But hey, you tell yourself it’s just your house shedding tears of joy.

This article was originally published on March 1, 2015. For more useful insights, check out this post on our other blog.

In summary, if you find yourself relating to these experiences, you may just be a true New Englander surviving the brutal winter. Embrace the chaos and find comfort in the quirky realities of snow-filled life.