The Comedy of Naming Your Second Child

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I can’t help but feel a bit sorry for my daughter. Not because there’s anything wrong with her, but simply because she’s the second child and has been dealt a rough hand since before she even arrived.

Take our experience with naming her, for example. When you’re expecting your first child, you have all the time in the world to lounge around with your partner, deliberating over every name in the baby name book.

Jake: What do you think about Leo?
Me: No way! I had a neighbor named Leo who used to throw tantrums. What about Mia?
Jake: But all her classmates will just call her “Mia the Meek.” How about Ava?
Me: Nope, my ex had a pet parrot named Ava.
Jake: How about Noah?
Me: Done!

By the time our firstborn was on the way, he had a name locked in. No bad memories or weird associations—just a solid choice.

Now, with our second little one, things were a whole different ball game. There was no time to flip through baby name books or spend cozy nights dreaming up names. Occasionally, one of us would shoot a text with a name suggestion, but that was the extent of it.

Fast forward to the day I went into labor, and we still had no name picked out. When asked if we had decided, we’d say we had some thoughts but nothing official. We thought we’d just know what to call her the moment she arrived.

Great plan, right? Except it didn’t pan out that way. You know what newborns look like? Like tiny, wrinkled old folks with squinty eyes. A baby doesn’t scream “Zachary” or “Elena,” and this one didn’t even have the anatomy to justify names like Bodhi or Asher.

We might have continued our indecision if not for the hospital staff poking us every 20 minutes, reminding us we needed a name for her birth certificate before we could leave. Sure, you can take an unnamed baby home, but then you have to deal with so much red tape later. Ain’t nobody got time for that, especially not seasoned parents.

So there I was, instead of resting and recovering, Googling “Jewish girl names.” After what felt like an eternity of debating between Luna and Sara, exhaustion set in. At that point, I didn’t care what we called her; I just wanted to go home, sleep in my own bed, and let my mother-in-law handle some babysitting.

I remember it all too clearly:
Me: CAN WE JUST PICK A NAME ALREADY?! I’m too wiped out to care!
Jake: How about Rose?
Me: Perfect, it’s easy to spell. Now, where’s the paperwork so I can get some sleep?

I can’t say she really looks like a Rose, but hey, at least it’s simple, and I’m still too tired to think of something fancier.

If you’re curious about naming your little one or the journey of parenthood, check out this informative resource for more insights. And for some handy tools to assist you, take a look at this great site that specializes in home insemination kits. Plus, for more on privacy while navigating parenting, don’t forget to read our privacy policy.

In summary, naming your second child can be a chaotic yet humorous journey filled with last-minute decisions and exhaustion. In the end, it’s all about making a choice that feels right, even if it’s not as glamorous as the first time around.