10 Reasons the Baby Thinks I’m a Creep

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Babies are endlessly intriguing, especially since they can’t communicate their thoughts. I can only imagine the kind of feedback my little one will have when she finally learns to talk. I mean, she might have a thing or two to say about my parenting choices, like when I give her a cold bottle instead of warming it up. I’m pretty sure she thinks a lot of the things I do are, well, a bit creepy. Here’s a rundown of how I manage to creep her out daily:

1. I Watch Her Sleep: Constantly. Sure, video monitors are a thing, but how would you like knowing you’re being stared at while you snooze?
2. I Want to Eat Her Chubby Cheeks and Toes: Seriously, I call them “edible.” I read that this is a natural maternal instinct, but it still sounds a bit weird, right?
3. I’m Obsessed with Her Poop: Yup, I track everything about it—frequency, color, you name it.
4. I Take Tons of Pictures and Videos: I have a digital archive of her life already and she’s only six months old. It’s like I’m creating a shrine, except it’s all about how adorable she is. And don’t even get me started on the silly noises I make to capture her smiles for those pics.
5. I Skip Showers Sometimes: I know she judges me for this. If a caregiver of mine skipped bathing, I’d be horrified!
6. I Taste-Test Her Baby Food: I can’t be the only one who does this. If I’m buying organic, I want to make sure it’s good!
7. I Refer to Myself in the Third Person: “Mommy loves you!” Yeah, it’s as cringe-worthy as it sounds.
8. I Use a Rear-Facing Mirror: This one is pretty practical, but I can’t help but feel like it’s a little stalker-ish.
9. I Dress Her Based on My Mood: If I’m feeling blue, she gets dressed in gray. Happy Fridays? She’s rocking the bright colors!
10. I Speak for Her with Absurd Nonsense: If the roles were reversed, I’d be super annoyed. “Mommy is a little fussy-wussy today because she really needs a nap!” Yup, that would definitely ruffle my feathers.

If you want to read more about parenting topics or learn about home insemination kits, check out our other posts on privacy policy and see how they can help you navigate this wild journey of parenthood. For those interested in getting started, make a mom offers great insights. And if you’re curious about IVF, the NHS has excellent resources!

In summary, parenting can be a bit creepy from a baby’s perspective. From watching them sleep to talking for them, it’s a wild ride that can seem odd. But hey, it’s all part of the fun, right?