When it comes to keeping our living spaces tidy, it’s easy to overlook the everyday chores that help maintain a clean home. Often, we have certain expectations about how things should be done, assuming our partners hold the same beliefs—after all, isn’t that just how it’s done? Apparently not! The editors at The Kitchen found that everyone had their own dishwashing rules, regardless of whether they owned a dishwasher. One person thought the cook should be exempt from cleanup duty, while another believed it was a group effort. Yet another found that cooking and cleaning went hand in hand.
I’ve always leaned towards the first idea: the cook shouldn’t have to clean up, allowing for exceptions based on exhaustion or kid-related chaos. But when my partner, who does most of the cooking, makes a dish I won’t eat—like his infamous pea soup or beef stew—then he’s on the hook for all the cleanup, just like I am when I bake.
There’s also a mini rule within the dishwashing guideline about leaving dirty dishes in the sink. For me, the sink is merely a temporary holding area, and dishes should be cleaned after they’ve soaked. My partner, on the other hand, seems to think that the “dish elves” will magically handle it. (Yes, say hello to the dish elf!)
When we lived in an apartment, we had a garbage rule: whoever tied up the bag and replaced it was excused from taking it out. Now that we’re in a house, I discovered years later that my partner still believed this rule applied. One day, I complained that no one was changing the bag, and he casually mentioned he thought it was my responsibility since he was the one who took it out. Who knew? (He did!)
Laundry was another area of confusion. I started doing my own laundry at about twelve, and when I had roommates, we all tackled our own loads—even at the laundromat. I assumed this would continue when we moved in together, but it turns out I had to clearly communicate that rule. It was my golden rule, not his! I prefer to keep our laundry separate, especially since I have a limited wardrobe. Last week, he accidentally mixed in some of my clothes with his, and you can imagine how frantic I was to find them. Maybe I’m a bit obsessed, but when you only have about four favorite shirts, you want to see them all!
So here’s my advice about household rules: they aren’t one-size-fits-all, so it’s essential to talk them through. If you find yourself getting frustrated every time you do a chore, your partner likely has a different set of expectations. (And of course, your rules are the right ones—so be ready to defend them!)
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In summary, clear communication about household duties can save a lot of frustration. Everyone has their own set of “rules,” and discussing them can lead to a more harmonious home.