Back to School: The 1970s vs. Today

Back to School in the 1970s

1. As August draws to a close, take the kids downtown for a shopping spree at Sears to pick out their back-to-school apparel. Score a pair of corduroys and a striped tee for each child. The boys can get dungarees while the girls can opt for culottes. And no, Jennifer, that orange and red poncho is not happening. You can promise to crochet her a more stylish one with plenty of fringe later. Don’t forget to grab a pack of that colorful fuzzy yarn for the girls to use in their hair. All of this will set you back a mere $43.00. Afterward, treat everyone to grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate milk at Woolworth’s lunch counter.
2. The night before the school year kicks off (the Sunday after Labor Day, of course), pile the kids into the way back of the station wagon and rush them to Eckerds, K-Mart, or any other store that has a back-to-school section. Remind them to hurry up; they need to be in bed by eight, or they’ll miss “The Wonderful World of Disney.” If Kimberly can’t decide between a Holly Hobbie or The Bionic Woman lunchbox, just threaten to pick Pigs in Space instead—no more discussion! Don’t forget composition notebooks and a pack of pencils. And save some grocery bags for covering textbooks after the first day.
3. Grab a pack of Virginia Slims on the way out and smoke a few on the drive home.
4. Rise and shine the next morning with a cup of Sanka and Sweet ‘n’ Low. Lay out all the lunchboxes on the Formica countertop and prepare sandwiches in an assembly line fashion.
5. For lunch, spread yellow mustard on bread, layer on bologna, add American cheese, and wrap the sandwich in tin foil. Every kid gets the same lunch—no exceptions.
6. Alternative sandwiches could include peanut butter and grape jelly, leftover roast beef, or the classic tuna fish with big chunks of onions and celery mixed in Miracle Whip.
7. Toss some Planter’s Cheese Balls into a baggie and secure it with a twist tie.
8. Pop a Twinkie into each lunchbox.
9. Fill thermoses with Kool-Aid or whole milk.
10. Don’t forget a red delicious apple, even if you know it will come back home untouched. You can keep reusing it until it’s practically compost.
11. Close the lunchboxes. They’re all set! The kids will grab a frosted Dutch apple Pop-Tart on their way out as they walk half a mile to the bus stop. Cue up some Barry Manilow and enjoy the peace until dinner.

Back to School Today

1. Take a moment to breathe and recite a positive affirmation. There’s still a bit of time before school starts. No need to panic about ordering those BPA-free bento boxes or authentic Indian tiffins made of ethically sourced stainless steel. With Amazon Prime, you can easily get that two-day shipping and read reviews — especially after a tumultuous summer filled with failed DIY projects and coffee shop frustrations.
2. One week later, the bento boxes have arrived, along with the school supplies list that’s as long as a novel—complete with requests for a ten-pound bag of flour and a massive pack of toilet paper.
3. Begin searching online for eco-friendly backpacks that are still trendy. Personalize them with monograms!
4. Head to the mall with the kids for a shopping spree, purchasing a brand new wardrobe from places like Gymboree and Crew Cuts. Expect to fork over $2,387.07 on your credit card.
5. Schedule a session with a child psychologist to help your little ones acclimate to their new grade and teacher.
6. Carefully review the allergy list sent from school, noting everything that can’t be included in your child’s lunch. It’s a stressful task—nobody wants to be responsible for a classmate’s allergic reaction!
7. Buy school supplies for your kids, which are different from the classroom supplies you also need. Expect to gather everything from paper and pens to a graphing calculator and even a centrifuge!
8. Shop at Whole Foods for lunch items; this could take hours as you scrutinize every label for organic and gluten-free products. You’ll leave with some tahini, bananas, and rice cakes after spending $76.19.
9. The night before school begins, prepare the bento boxes with organic strawberries cut into fun shapes and a nut-free granola made from certified gluten-free oats. Make a sandwich out of vegan hemp bread and photograph the beautiful creation for Instagram.
10. Write an encouraging note for your child filled with inspirational quotes.
11. Toss in a sheet of stickers for fun.
12. Fill a Siig bottle with filtered water and add a box of chilled coconut water to the bento box—because hydration is key!
13. Blog about the entire experience and hope it goes viral.
14. On the first day of school, wake up at 4 AM to create photo signs for each child, complete with decorations and a makeshift photo booth setup.
15. Whip up pancakes shaped like letters of the alphabet.
16. Dress the kids in matching outfits and spend 35 minutes capturing the perfect photos.
17. Load everyone into the car for the ride to school.
18. Once they’re safely in their new classrooms, take a moment to cry in your car for the next 20 minutes. It’s okay, you’ll be back in six hours to pick them up and whisk them off to their after-school activities like synchronized swimming, cello, and Urdu classes.

self insemination kit

For more insights into parenting and school experiences, check out our other post here. And for those considering home insemination, visit this resource for expert advice. Don’t forget to explore this informative blog for all things related to pregnancy and fertility.

In summary, while back-to-school preparations have changed drastically from the simplicity of the 1970s to the complex requirements of today, both eras share the same underlying goal: to ensure kids are ready and excited for a new school year.