The New Dad’s Guide to Surviving Parenthood Without Losing Your Cool

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I like to think of myself as a pretty cheerful soul. Light-hearted, self-aware, and generally relaxed—except for one little hitch: If I don’t get a good night’s sleep, I transform into a cranky, irritable, overly emotional whirlwind. At those moments, I am absolutely convinced that I’m right about everything—until I realize just how wrong I can be.

Still with me?

Here’s the kicker: since my son came along in the summer of 2014, I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep. So, I’ve graduated from being just cranky to a full-blown emotional tornado. Sometimes I suspect my partner looks back fondly at the days when I was merely cranky. Ah, the nostalgia!

Babies are phenomenal. PHENOMENAL! From their fluffy little heads to their tiny, wrinkled toes, they truly bring joy into our lives. Those initial weeks with your newborn are a whirlwind of magic—mostly.

They’re also incredibly draining, which is why I’ve compiled a little survival guide for any new dads (or moms) out there with a partner like me (sorry about that!) and a newborn:

1. Avoid comments about her appearance. Seriously, telling your partner she looks worse than a badger’s backside is not going to win you any points. If she gets through the day without any major incidents involving her or the baby, consider yourself lucky.
2. Refrain from starting sentences with, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…” There’s no good way to take that.
3. If she’s been up all night with the baby, don’t mistake her position in bed as an invitation. She’s probably just catching up on sleep.
4. Never inquire about what she did all day. For a reference point, here’s a rough outline of her day:
   – Feed baby.
   – Change baby.
   – Wonder how something so beautiful could have come from you.
   – Change baby again after a “surprise” moment.
   – Attempt to eat a peanut butter sandwich amidst the chaos.
   – Repeat.
5. When your baby has a little accident in your arms, don’t look at your partner and say, “I think the baby needs a change.” You know where the diapers are!
6. If you’re running late from work, let her know. She’s been counting down the minutes, and if you show up late, prepare for a baby to be thrown at you.
7. Taking care of your baby is NOT babysitting. You won’t get paid for this, but feel free to snack on anything in the fridge.
8. If your partner starts crying for no apparent reason, just hug her. You can change your wet shirt later. She’s likely overwhelmed, and the cause of her tears could be anything from exhaustion to a particularly sad commercial.
9. If she says something is wrong with the baby, listen! And for goodness’ sake, keep her away from Google. The internet is a rabbit hole of unnecessary worry.
10. Most importantly, don’t ever say, “The baby is fine.” Just don’t.

And remember, if you want to learn more about parenting or explore options like home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, navigating the world of new parenthood can feel overwhelming and chaotic at times. But with a little patience, understanding, and humor, you’ll likely find your footing. Just remember to stay engaged with your partner, avoid unnecessary comments, and be supportive.

If you’re interested in diving deeper into fertility and home insemination, you can find valuable insights at one of our other blog posts here.