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Reflections from a Mom of a Special Needs Child
Hey there, my friend,
You’ve known me long before I became a mom to my little girl, Lily, who has some special needs. We’ve shared countless laughs, faced tough moments, and made lasting memories together. But there are things I often keep to myself since they aren’t the typical conversations people have. Since taking on the role of Lily’s mom, I’ve lost touch with several friends, yet you’ve stuck around.
Most days, I feel a sense of solitude. It’s not that I’m physically alone—I’m usually surrounded by people—but finding the time to genuinely connect with you feels rare. It’s tough to dive deep when months have passed since our last catch-up. I truly appreciate you asking things like, “How’s your relationship?” or “Are you making time for yourself?” Those moments of real conversation mean the world to me.
I carry a weight of guilt for declining your invitations so often. Our therapy sessions often clash with the women’s groups you invite me to, and by the time evening rolls around, I’m usually too worn out to join that exercise class. Couple’s retreats are completely out of reach since we don’t have respite care available. But, dear friend, thank you for your understanding. Just receiving a text from you makes me feel like I haven’t vanished from the world. I truly appreciate your flexibility when I have to cancel our lunch plans last minute. Honestly, I wouldn’t want a friend like me, but I can’t express how much I need a friend like you.
What fills me with joy is when you include Lily in your plans. I know it can take extra effort to check for wheelchair access and other considerations, but your thoughtfulness is heartwarming. Your kids are naturally kind and inclusive, and I’m confident you’re raising amazing little humans.
There are days that push me to my limits, and you always seem to show up when I need you most. You text me during tough surgery days, bring meals while I’m at the hospital, and support my other kids in ways I wouldn’t have thought of. I often wonder if I could be as good a friend to you in a similar situation.
Since our children are the same age, many moms would typically swap stories about potty training or school readiness. Instead, you celebrate Lily’s milestones, no matter how delayed they might be. While others may struggle to hear about medications or surgeries, you listen and truly understand.
Moms like me really need friends like you. Please keep reaching out, keep including us, and keep embracing Lily.
With all my gratitude,
Your friend
P.S. For anyone interested in pregnancy and home insemination, this excellent resource can be found at the CDC.
Summary
This heartfelt letter from a special needs mom expresses deep appreciation for a true friend who supports her and her daughter. Despite feeling isolated due to the challenges of parenting a child with special needs, the author values the genuine connection with a friend who understands and includes her family. The letter highlights the importance of friendship and encouragement during tough times.