When You Feel Overwhelmed as a Partner and Parent

home insemination Kit

It was a breezy Saturday night when Jessica found herself 300 miles from home, enjoying a break from her husband and two teenage kids. “I’m just done being a wife,” she confessed over our first glass of pinot grigio, the lively music filling the air. “And honestly, I’m tired of being a mother. I really need some time for myself!” I completely understood her sentiment.

Back when my husband was still around, we often joked that my favorite evenings were when he took our daughter out for “Dad-Daughter Date Night.” A whole weekend away was even better! During those times, I wouldn’t bother making any plans. I’d slip into bed without a care about dinner. Who needed a full meal? A quick salad or some crackers and cheese would do. It was pure bliss—just me, the remote all to myself, and no responsibilities weighing me down. Those nights of watching my guilty pleasure shows with melted chocolate on my fingers were heaven.

But now, as a widow, those solo nights have morphed into something far less enjoyable. I often find myself feeling bored, lonely, and anxious. I’ve listened to countless conversations from friends who complain about their partners being away for a night or two. They grumble about juggling household duties and running the kids around, but at least they know their spouse will eventually return. In contrast, I remain silent, reminded that my husband is gone for good.

Jessica felt relieved that her husband was taking the kids for a weekend without her. “They all need that,” she said. “He should be more involved, and the kids should get to know him better.” I could relate to that, too.

In my marriage, we had our roles figured out— I took care of our child inside the house, while my husband, Mark, managed the outside. He was an engaged father, but there were still moments I felt like a single mom. I thought I was doing everything while he merely walked the dog! How wrong I was. His presence was invaluable. I cooked, he did the dishes. I handled laundry, he folded it. Whenever our daughter had a rough day, Mark was there to lift her spirits. He took her to school every morning and tucked her in every night, even as she got older.

After nearly 20 years together, I learned that every marriage has its ups and downs. We understood that love, trust, and respect had to prevail, especially during tough times. We knew the importance of giving each other space, which I now realize I could use more of. If Mark were here, I’d probably be the one rallying for a “Girls’ Night Out,” and he’d be in full support.

These days, I don’t crave that time away as much. When I do find myself with free time, I prefer spending it with my new boyfriend, Lucas. Our relationship is still fresh, and while it’s hard to imagine, maybe in the future, I’ll indulge in a night alone while he visits his son. Or perhaps I’ll take a spontaneous trip up the coast with a friend. Relationships thrive on space, and loving couples need some time apart, which is exactly why Jessica poured herself another glass of pinot before hitting the dance floor.

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In summary, both marriage and parenting can feel overwhelming at times. Taking a break to recharge is essential for maintaining a healthy balance and a happy relationship. Whether it’s a night out with friends or simply some time to yourself, it’s important to prioritize your well-being alongside your family responsibilities.