Delusions vs. Reality in Parenting: The Things I Said I’d Never Do (But Totally Did)

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Parenting and marriage are often painted with an idealistic brush. We tend to envision how we’ll raise our kids or manage our relationships, usually with a confident “I’ll never do that!” But when reality hits, it’s a different story. Suddenly, all those things we swore off become quite tempting, especially when you just need a moment of peace.

Fast Food

Delusion: I’ll never feed my kids those greasy French fries! They’re full of junk and I care too much for my little angels to let them eat such trash.

Reality: On a road trip or even a quick grocery run, those fries are my ticket to some peace and quiet. Sorry, kids! Super size that!

Yelling

Delusion: I will never raise my voice at my children. That’s just mean! My mom was strict, and I’m way better than that.

Reality: And then my toddler decided to smack me. In. The. Face. Cue the yelling (and a colorful vocabulary).

Screen Time

Delusion: TV is bad for kids! No screens before age 3, and only half an hour after that.

Reality: If I don’t get a few minutes to enjoy my coffee uninterrupted, we’re all doomed. Here’s the remote, kiddos. Go wild!

Expectations of Intelligence

Delusion: My kids will be child prodigies! No TV and years of breastfeeding mean they’ll know the alphabet by age 3.

Reality: Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop eating your boogers.

Food Choices

Delusion: Only organic, non-GMO, and free-range everything for my kids. They deserve the best!

Reality: I’ll give them whatever they’ll actually eat. Tyrants!

Potty Training

Delusion: My little one will be fully trained by age 2. Max.

Reality: Oh look, a 3.5-year-old who thinks the backyard is a bathroom.

Clothing Choices

Delusion: My baby will look adorable in khakis, a collared shirt, and a bow tie.

Reality: My baby is adorable in whatever isn’t covered in mud, food, or who knows what else.

“Because I Said So”

Delusion: I’ll never use that phrase.

Reality: Yeah, I find myself saying “Because I said so” all the time.

And hey, sometimes I’ve even turned on the TV and thrown a cookie at them just to snag a few minutes of alone time. No shame in that game!

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Summary

We often idealize parenting and make bold promises about how we’ll raise our kids, but reality has a way of turning those promises upside down. From indulging in fast food to the constant battle with screen time and potty training, many of us find ourselves doing the things we once swore we wouldn’t. Embrace the chaos, and don’t forget to find humor in the journey!