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I’m the Mom of a Kid Who Might Never Be Potty Trained
My son, Leo, is about to turn 5. He’s bright, sweet, hilarious, and adorable. Everyone enjoys his company, and he keeps me on my toes with his playful mischief (like the time he turned the bathroom into a mini swimming pool just weeks before Christmas). But in all his awesomeness, Leo still isn’t fully potty trained.
Before you gasp in horror and wonder why I let him have daily accidents—yes, daily—in public, at home, in my car, and at birthday parties all over the Southeastern U.S., let me clarify. I haven’t consciously allowed this to happen, but here we are.
I often feel like a failure. Over the past few years, I’ve tried every trick in the book. I’ve offered every reward imaginable, implemented consequences, created colorful potty charts, and set my iPhone timer more times than I can count. We’ve even had to leave places when those dreaded wet spots appear on his pants. I’ve tried letting him keep playing with wet pants, hoping his peers might make him feel embarrassed. Spoiler alert: they haven’t.
I’ve also tried to be understanding. I think Leo was rushed into potty training at daycare when he was just 2 years old, and he wasn’t ready. Then we welcomed a new baby, moved to a different state, and started fresh lives. Poor Leo, the middle child, had a tough couple of years. So, I’ve given him breaks, continued with potty charts, and worked hard to keep my cool, even when tossing out yet another pair of superhero underwear that met its unfortunate fate in a public restroom (yes, that happened just two weeks ago).
While my close mom friends understand and are wonderfully supportive, I can’t escape the judgment from strangers. Those moms at the playground who feel the need to point out that my 4-year-old has had an accident can be especially grating. Their kids were potty trained at 18 months and haven’t had a mishap since, so they feel compelled to share their unsolicited opinions. Honestly, I sometimes wish I could give them a piece of my mind.
In a few months, I’ll be registering Leo for kindergarten, and it feels surreal to think about this amazing little boy—who I love beyond measure—carrying his own lunch tray, learning to read, and writing his name. But I worry that his potty training challenges will follow him into this new chapter.
Kids can be so cruel. I know Leo will face teasing about something—be it his clothing, his hair, or his love of dinosaurs. I just hope the potty training thing doesn’t become one of those nicknames that sticks with him through middle school or even affects his confidence in front of a crush someday. This is something we can fix, after all.
Finally, I took Leo to the pediatrician as a last resort regarding his potty issues. She diagnosed him with constipation, which can dull the body’s signals that it’s time to go—leading to accidents. I’m relieved to have an explanation (and some daily laxative mix to help him), but I know it will take time, and patience is key.
Leo won’t be heading to college in a pull-up. I have faith he won’t have accidents once he’s in elementary school, but we’ll tackle that if it arises. He’s not the only kid dealing with this, and he certainly won’t be the last.
It’s tough to explain this situation to others. It can be frustrating and embarrassing, and I often find myself being both a fierce advocate for my son and the one who feels most upset when accidents happen. I’ve felt like the worst mom, the okayest mom, the proudest mom, and the most embarrassed mom, but above all, I love my son fiercely, and I’ll keep striving to do what’s best for him. As long as he knows that, we’ll be just fine.
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Summary:
In this relatable blog post, Emma Jacobs shares her experience as a mom to Leo, a nearly 5-year-old who is still struggling with potty training. Despite her efforts and the challenges they face, she remains patient and hopeful while navigating the judgment from others. Ultimately, her love for her son drives her to continue seeking solutions.