A Note to Working Moms and Stay-at-Home Moms from a Military Mom

As a proud member of a dual-military family, I’ve navigated the unique challenges of being a military mother. Between searching for connections with other moms and witnessing the ongoing debates about working versus staying at home, I want to share a few insights from my world.

1. Making Mom Friends is Tough

I’m always on the lookout for mom friends outside the military, but I often feel lost on how to connect. For the past six years, my life has revolved around military duties—living on a ship, enduring long deployments, and spending countless nights away from home. I see you all at the park, organizing playdates and swim classes, but I can never seem to find the right moment to introduce myself. “Hey, want to hang out? Just a heads-up, I’m unavailable on Saturdays, the next Sunday, or during those six-day stretches when I’m on duty and can’t share the details of my secret job.”

2. The “How Do You Do It?” Question

When you ask me how I balance my responsibilities, it’s a little tricky. Unlike the choice of going back to work or staying at home, I signed a contract and took an oath to serve. While military maternity leave is a blessing, the timelines vary across branches of service. Some of us return to active duty within six months, while others face deployments shortly after our babies are born. We can’t just call in sick or switch jobs. It can be overwhelming and exhilarating all at once; we are proud to serve our country and protect not just our kids but yours too.

3. Childcare Challenges

Finding reliable childcare is another hurdle. With both my husband and I in active duty, there are days when we need someone trustworthy to care for our little one for an entire 24 hours. Thankfully, we’re on a shore duty rotation, but I have friends who have to rely on family members for weeks at a time. It’s never easy navigating these arrangements.

4. I’m Just Another Mom

Beyond the uniform and the military duties, I’m just a mom. It’s Sunday evening, my child is tucked in bed, and I’m indulging in a giant chocolate bar while binge-watching old seasons of my guilty pleasure.

So, to all the working and stay-at-home moms out there, please remember me. I might not attend every playdate, and I might show up in combat boots, but my love for my child is as deep as yours. I need you in my life because, like you, I’m simply trying to navigate motherhood.

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Summary

This letter from a military mom sheds light on the unique challenges of balancing motherhood with military duties. She expresses a desire for connection with other moms, shares the complexities of returning to duty after childbirth, and highlights the struggles of finding childcare. Ultimately, she reminds fellow moms that despite their different paths, the bond of motherhood unites them.