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10 Realities Only Parents of Little Biters Know
We celebrate numerous milestones in our children’s lives, but “Baby’s First Bite” at 2½ years old isn’t exactly one for the scrapbook. There’s no cute chalkboard sign for my son to hold, no hashtag for Instagram. It’s a private struggle, one that feels too shameful to share.
My son is a biter.
If your child isn’t a biter, you might not truly understand the weight of this burden. You might give me that disapproving look when your sweet child is in tears because of my little monster’s actions, but you won’t know how deeply that gaze cuts. It says, “You’re an awful parent for allowing this,” and reinforces every insecurity I have about my parenting skills.
You don’t see the tears I’ve cried over this issue. You can’t comprehend how much I worry that my child will be friendless forever, a social outcast at just 2½ years old. I fear that I am utterly unprepared to help him through this phase.
Sure, I know in my heart that he won’t bite forever. I understand it’s often a developmental phase, and he’ll likely grow out of it (before moving on to a new phase where he insists he’s a dinosaur and only eats with his hands). But being the parent of a little biter comes with its own set of unique challenges. Here are 10 things only those parents truly understand:
- Playdates are a Stress Test
Playdates don’t just bring joy; they crank your anxiety up to eleven. You may look like an overprotective helicopter parent, but you’re really just ready to swoop in the moment you see those teeth bared. - Warning Labels for Clothing
Dressing him in a shirt with a shark or a raccoon that says “I bite” is a bad call when he’s around other kids. On other kids, it’s funny; on mine, it’s just “poor taste.” Halloween costumes? Forget vampires or zombies—those are off-limits. - A Call from School is the Worst
When the school calls, your day takes a nosedive faster than you can devour a box of Girl Scout cookies. They want you to come pick him up and maybe even bring cookies to make up for his behavior. Your boss isn’t exactly thrilled either, leading you to contemplate a career change to become the next big game-show host. - Everyone’s Got “Helpful” Advice
And none of it works. - Brace Yourself for Orthodontics
Those bite marks on your arm have you convinced your kid will need braces when he’s older. Maybe the orthodontist can use that impression for a discount? - Orange is Not His Color
Sure, it’s probably just a phase, but what if it’s not? You start feeling like you need to save for bail money instead of college funds because your little one is somehow now a “problem child” in the eyes of everyone around you. - Nursing is a Thing of the Past
Because, wow, that hurts! - Creative Solutions Cross Your Mind
You might consider extreme measures, like removing baby teeth or asking if anyone’s opposed to dousing themselves in hot sauce before interacting with him. - You Become a Detective
Each incident turns you into a sleuth, gathering evidence about triggers and patterns. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, you realize toddlers don’t operate like suspects on crime shows. - You Love Your Little Monster
Despite everything, you see the good in him and hope others can too. You cling to the hope that this is just a phase and that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Right? Please tell me this ends!
For more insights on parenting challenges, check out this engaging post on our blog, Home Insemination Kit.
In closing, while parenting a biter is filled with unique challenges, the love you have for your child remains unwavering.