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We Can’t Afford to Spend More Time With Our Baby
My wife dedicated a lot of time to our newborn—but I guess I should say “dedicated” in the past tense, since he just hit the big 3-month milestone last week, and her maternity leave has come to an end.
For those first three months, she was on maternity leave, spending her days with our little bundle as he got used to life beyond the womb. It was a whirlwind of emotions—exhausting yet precious, frustrating but exhilarating, and yes, at times, downright boring. But now, that chapter has closed. It’s time for him to grow up and start fending for himself, you lazy little potato.
First off, let’s recognize that my wife is fortunate to have had maternity leave. While the U.S. maternity leave policies are behind nearly every other developed nation (and I know this because I was educated here, so trust me, I can think of quite a few), having time to nurture and bond with a newborn is a true blessing.
As for me, I’m a dad, and let’s just say my time off wasn’t exactly generous! Sure, my company offered me five days, which, considering I can’t breastfeed and am thus only half a parent, might seem reasonable. But when you factor in sleepless nights, the physical toll of pregnancy and labor on my wife, my role as her supportive partner, and the fact that our son spent two of those days in the NICU, well, five days starts to feel a tad short.
Let’s be real: five days for dads is ridiculous. And while those days were a luxury (most guys I know take vacation days instead), the reality is that three months for a new mom can be even more challenging.
The first three months of a baby’s life are often referred to as the “fourth trimester.” Sure, they’re born, but those first 90 days are basically a continuation of their development within the womb. It’s when they finally start to show signs of being actual humans—like maybe sleeping a little better or even flashing a smile. But just as things start to get interesting, it’s back to work for my wife.
Some women may not mind returning to work; I mean, I’m just a dad, after all. But for my wife, the thought of leaving our baby behind is heartbreaking. Unfortunately, we, like many American families, simply can’t manage on a single income, so it’s not like we can just take our time. She’s forced to hand our little one over to daycare, Grandma, or a nanny—none of which can compare to mommy. And that’s where we find ourselves, grappling with this tough decision much too soon.
While it’s tough to hear my wife lament the precious time lost with our baby, we’re in a position where we simply can’t afford to pause life—not to mention the prospect of raising two kids on one salary is even more daunting.
If you’re looking for more information about home insemination, check out this article on intracervical insemination. For authoritative resources, Make a Mom is a great go-to, and ASRM offers excellent insights into pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while the early days with a newborn are filled with challenges, the transition back to work can be equally daunting for new parents. Balancing time with family and the demands of a career is no easy feat, but it’s the reality many of us face.