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The Reality Is You Won’t Long For These Days
After a grueling day, you find yourself in the grocery store, utterly wiped out. Your toddler, sensing your fatigue, has decided this is the perfect moment to stage a dramatic meltdown over a piece of candy. Just as you think you might snap, a well-meaning, veteran parent breezes by, grinning, and says, “You’re going to miss this.”
In the annals of parenting wisdom, those five words are rarely a source of comfort. I’m not a parenting guru, but I do have three kids navigating various phases of childhood.
Here’s the blunt truth: You probably won’t miss these chaotic moments, and there’s no need to feel guilty for it. Sure, you’ll reminisce about different stages of their growth, longing for certain moments, but that doesn’t mean you have to romanticize every aspect.
I do miss the days when my kids were snug little infants, curled up in my arms. Oh, how I’d love to relive a day with them at that age—but only if we could skip the sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. The past can keep the days filled with multiple diaper disasters in record time, teething tantrums, and the dreaded separation anxiety. I just want to remember my babies at their best—those moments when they giggled, napped peacefully, and let me enjoy a full night’s sleep.
As for toddlers? Let’s be real—they can be little terrors. My oldest was a biter, and all three boys had mastered the art of avoiding sleep like it was an Olympic sport. The past can keep the incident reports I had to endure after my little whirlwind decided to snack on a classmate. I don’t long for those nights spent repeatedly putting my toddler back into bed. But I do cherish the first steps, the first words, and those magical moments when their laughter filled the air as they discovered the world anew. I would gladly trade a chaotic day for one of those precious memories.
Now, my boys are 5, 6, and 8. We still have plenty of childhood milestones ahead, and I’m genuinely happy with where we are. Some days I find myself wishing I had soaked it all in a bit more. The reality of parenting is that you can never fully savor it. You’ll always crave more of those golden days—when everything aligns perfectly, the baby naps, messes are minimal, and laughter outweighs the tears. Those days do exist, and you’ll earn them, trust me.
So here’s my point: Don’t feel guilty if you don’t miss every moment. Not every aspect of parenthood deserves nostalgia. I treasure every single, special moment with my kids, even if it meant sleepless nights, shedding tears, or cleaning up after chaos. I do miss parts of each stage, but I also breathe a sigh of relief that some of those tougher times are behind us—and that’s completely okay.
The essence of parenting lies in cherishing your children at their best while supporting them through their worst. If you find yourself missing something, it’s because you appreciated it, right? So, if you don’t miss this, that’s perfectly fine.
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In summary, parenting is filled with ups and downs, and it’s okay to not miss every chaotic moment. Cherish the best times while celebrating the growth and learning that comes with the journey.