Your cart is currently empty!
Co-Parenting Without Communication: A Real-Life Guide
I don’t exactly see eye to eye with my daughter’s mom, and truthfully, I don’t think we ever have. We became parents at the tender age of 18 and welcomed our daughter into the world when we were just 19. There’s a laundry list of reasons behind our discord—let’s just say we’re not fans of each other. Yet, despite our differences, we’ve managed to raise a thriving 13-year-old.
When I say “thriving,” I mean it. My daughter is a straight-A student since third grade. She’s dabbled in ballet, modeling, soccer, basketball, and she’s even on her school’s relay team, eyeing their sixth consecutive city championship. She’s bright, funny, and has a circle of good friends. I’m sure her mom feels just as grateful for her presence as I do. But it’s remarkable that she’s achieved so much while her parents have been at odds nearly every step of the way.
From the start, it was clear we couldn’t agree on anything. So, we decided to limit our communication to the essentials: pickups, drop-offs, doctor’s appointments, and school events. We even roped in our parents to help navigate the chaos. I don’t think her dad and my mom have ever met, but they’ve talked enough to smooth over our rough patches. They were much more agreeable than we could ever be, serving as a much-needed buffer.
We attempted to maintain a friendly rapport “for the sake of our daughter.” However, our dislike for one another only intensified. Eventually, we resorted to communicating solely through text messages for logistics like “Dentist appointment at 5 p.m. next Thursday” or “I’ll pick her up from school tomorrow.” It might sound strange, but it worked! Our constant bickering diminished, and the way we shared time with our daughter improved drastically. Sure, we still have our flare-ups, but overall, our relationship is far more peaceful than it’s ever been.
You might wonder about the effect this has on my daughter. How does she cope with the fact that her parents don’t communicate face-to-face? Honestly, I can’t say for certain. She seems happy and confident, and I make sure never to speak negatively about her mother in her presence—though she’s not oblivious to our feelings. Being 13, she’s well aware that we don’t get along. I suspect she’s managing it, and sometimes, you have to look your kid in the eye and say, “This is how things are.” You just hope that it doesn’t break them in any way, and judging by her behavior, it hasn’t.
Who knows how long we can keep this up? I doubt our text-only arrangement is a permanent solution. When the time comes, we’ll find a new way to make it work. After all, if it doesn’t benefit us, my primary concern is how it affects our daughter—not the current state of our communication.
If you’re exploring options for family planning and want to understand more about home insemination, check out resources like this guide for guidance. For more on pregnancy, you can also visit this site for excellent insights.