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Hey Parents, Your Child Could Be the Next Victim of Sexual Assault. We Need to Take Action.
Last week, as I strolled from the parking area to my office, a middle-aged man in a utility van drove by, lingering his gaze a bit too long before pulling into the lot. My heart raced, and my car keys shifted between my fingers—an instinct honed from many similar experiences. I was just 27 at the time.
A few years back, while idling at a red light in a bustling college town, I witnessed a young man emerge from a bar, pacing along the cars at the intersection. I instantly recognized his intentions, locking my doors just as he approached. He yanked at my passenger door handle, demanding entry. I sped away as soon as the light turned green. I was 22 then.
Nearly a decade ago, I often walked home from evening classes in the dark, equipped with my keys in hand, phone ready, and a mental map of “blue lights”—the emergency call boxes meant for students in distress. One evening, a male classmate offered to walk me back to my dorm under the pretense of needing to borrow my notes. However, once we entered my room, his demeanor shifted. His real aim was not to study but to intimidate me. He left only after I threatened to call the police. I was 20.
The year prior, I was walking from my internship to class, dressed in skinny jeans and a sweater. As I passed a group of guys hanging out near the exit of my college’s administrative building, one of them made a crude comment about my appearance, and another groped me as I tried to walk past. I was just 20.
At my first fraternity party, I was the most covered-up woman there, wearing a black sweater and a miniskirt. The door guard wouldn’t let me in unless I obliged him with a kiss. My friend did just that, and we entered, only to find multiple women passed out or sick. When leaving, fraternity brothers frisked every female, and I was inappropriately touched as I exited. I was 19.
In high school, I was left out in the cold by a boyfriend simply for talking to a friend from the rival team. A male friend offered me a ride home, and that turned into an awkward advance. I was 17.
And when I was just a preteen, I experienced my first encounter with harassment. Boys would snap my bra straps and ridicule me for wearing regular underwear. One boy even reached down my pants in class to pull my underwear. I was only 12.
Now, at 27, I’m a mother of two—one boy and one girl—and I feel the weight of preparing them to navigate a world where “boys will be boys” and girls are often told to “stay quiet.”
You might be thinking, “This woman just wants to vent about her past.” But these are merely the PG-rated events I’m comfortable sharing. I never confided in my parents about these incidents, and it’s likely your daughter hasn’t shared her experiences either.
One day, your daughter might come home and mention a boy snapping her bra strap at school, and you’ll wish you had told her it’s okay to stand up for herself. But she may not even share it with you, unsure of how to process what’s occurred.
I’m sharing this because someday your daughter could find herself in a much graver situation. My close encounter in college might not be her experience; she could become just another statistic. Instead of a boy backing off after a rejection, he could escalate to a much darker outcome.
Furthermore, let’s not ignore the reality that your sons could grow into men who perpetuate this behavior. It’s crucial to educate them that it’s never acceptable to touch someone without consent—regardless of what they hear from others, including public figures.
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In summary, as parents, we must recognize the harsh reality that our children could face harassment or assault. It’s our duty to prepare them to navigate these challenges and foster a culture of respect and understanding.