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Hey Kids, We’re Not Made of Money, So Please Turn Off the Lights!
I’ve been transforming into my father for years—probably since birth, really. But nothing speeds up this metamorphosis quite like becoming a parent yourself. The best evidence of my dad-ification, aside from my ever-present back pain and those delightful bags under my eyes, is the stuff I find myself yelling at my kids.
Nothing was more exhausting than hearing my father rant about lights being left on, doors ajar, the TV blaring, or, you know, pee on the toilet seat (that one’s probably more on my partner). And now? I’m the one who’s constantly doing the same thing. Money doesn’t grow on trees, kids!
Honestly, I think I’m turning into every dad out there. Getting frustrated by your kids’ complete unawareness of household finances is an essential part of parenting, while tuning out parental concerns is just a classic kid move. Combine those two, and you’ve got a summer filled with me spouting clichés at my 5-year-old. (See the classic “Money doesn’t grow on trees!” line.)
I spend my evenings wandering around the house, flicking off lights while mumbling to myself. If my siblings visited and closed their eyes, they’d probably think they landed at our dad’s place. And then they’d definitely tease me.
But guess what? They don’t pay my electricity bills, so they can keep their comments to themselves! Utility bills aren’t just some annoying squares in Monopoly—they’re real-life budget busters that kids tend to ignore. I’m pretty sure my 5-year-old believes the electricity powering his Death Star nightlight, his favorite Netflix shows, and the iPad he gets to use occasionally is as plentiful and free as the air he breathes. Based on his water-wasting habits after using the bathroom, it seems he thinks the same about water.
Let’s be real—5-year-olds have no concept of money. (My son thinks all coins are pennies, and he once swallowed one, which led to a rather unpleasant week of diaper sifting that I’d rather forget.) But if he did understand, I’m convinced he’d still assume that water, electricity, heat, food, and Wi-Fi come free of charge.
No one understands privilege like a child who has everything handed to them. And honestly, I want to keep it that way for a bit longer.
I don’t want to burden my 5-year-old with the heavy weight of our budget constraints and growing debts, just like he doesn’t intend to stress me out about turning into my dad before I even hit 40 (that birthday is coming up fast!). But these realities are part of the push and pull of being a parent and having kids.
We inevitably become our parents, and kids will always act like kids. I might even end up with an ulcer from all the stress. But hopefully, I can shield my little ones from the daily pressures of adulthood until they’ve enjoyed their childhoods enough to understand and maybe even help me tackle the real world.
They can start working at age 10, right? That should give them plenty of time to figure it out. Until then, I’ll just have to dock their nonexistent allowance every time they leave a light on.
For more insights into parenting and home insemination, check out this informative resource or learn about navigating this journey with expert advice. And remember, even if we’re not made of money, we can still find ways to guide our kids through the ups and downs of life.
Summary
This humorous reflection on parenting highlights the inevitable transformation into one’s parents, particularly in the context of teaching children about household finances. The author shares relatable anecdotes about the struggles of getting kids to turn off lights and understand the value of money, all while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood.