An Open Letter to Everyone Encouraging Me to Have a Second Child

home insemination Kit

Dear Mom, Mother-in-Law, Sister-in-Law, that acquaintance from yoga I hardly know, fellow parent at drop-off, neighbor down the street, the priest from the baptism, college buddy, work friend, the lady at the reception desk, the guy at the pizza shop, the library security guard, and anyone else this may concern:

I appreciate your concern, but I want to set the record straight: I’m not planning on having another child. There weren’t any dramatic birth complications. I’m not facing any medical issues that would make it dangerous. My marriage is stable, and we’re not drowning in debt. I simply feel fulfilled with one child.

You might think I’m being selfish. Perhaps you equate my desire to work hard to support my family with selfishness. You see, I spend hours commuting and then cherish the little moments I have left to play with my son. It’s “selfish” to enjoy a warm meal instead of cold leftovers from his high chair, right? Or to want to have a conversation with my husband before I turn into a total zombie at the end of the day? If that’s the case, then yes, I guess I am selfish. I also want to hit the gym a couple of times a week, catch up with friends occasionally, and have the luxury of a rare haircut. Ladies, we can absolutely juggle our lives with just one kid!

You fret that my son might feel lonely without a sibling. But honestly, siblings don’t always make the best playmates. They could be polar opposites, one obsessed with cars while the other is a budding little artist trying to stage backyard plays. I’d much rather engage in playtime with my son, as I know these years are fleeting. I want to soak in every moment rather than relying on a hypothetical sibling to share that time.

And while I understand your concerns about the future—what happens when I’m no longer around?—I have every intention of instilling the values of friendship and family in my son. He’ll have a lifetime to learn these lessons, and who knows, he might even pick up a few along the way. And if it eases your mind, I’ll consider a life insurance policy for when I’m home sick with my son, which is probably more economical than raising another child anyway.

Yes, my son is adorable, a little cherub who could rival any painting in an Italian cathedral. But I’m not willing to gamble on breaking that mold. And no, I don’t need another version of “me”—I’ve got my sister for that, and she’s already outshining me!

You wonder if I’m concerned about spoiling him. Honestly, I hope I do spoil him a bit! If I had a second child, I’d be scrambling to save for two college educations and mediating squabbles in the backyard. My job is to guide my son, to set healthy boundaries, and to teach him how to navigate life—like not losing his mind every time he walks into a toy store.

In the end, one child is what works best for our family. That’s our choice, and I truly appreciate your concern. But I’m going to continue cherishing my wonderful son and raising him in the way I see fit.

With love and hugs,
Jamie

P.S. Please refrain from saying “one and done” — it’s just awkward.

For more on topics like this, you might find insights in our other posts on home insemination techniques, including options like this one. If you’re interested in exploring various family planning methods, Make a Mom is a great resource, along with UCSF’s excellent guide on IVF.

Summary

This open letter humorously addresses the pressure to have a second child, emphasizing the joy and fulfillment of parenting one child. It defends the author’s decision by discussing personal fulfillment, the joys of parenting, and the belief that one child is the right choice for their family dynamic.