By: Jenna L. Parker
Do you have a child who seems to burst with energy and determination? If you do, you know exactly what I mean. This is a kid who won’t accept “no” for an answer—not ever. Their motto? “It’s my way or the highway.” This mentality can apply to every tiny aspect of their lives, from how they want their cereal arranged to whether they’ll let you lend a hand with their homework (spoiler alert: the answer is a resounding “No!”).
These little firecrackers insist on doing everything by themselves—seriously, everything. They don’t want assistance unless it’s explicitly requested, thank you very much. And they will wholeheartedly challenge anything they disagree with, even if they don’t fully grasp the situation.
For instance, when my spirited daughter was just a toddler, we had this gem of a conversation:
Me: Sweetheart, do you know what stubborn means?
Her: No, and I’m not learning it!
Classic, right? Thanks for the lesson, kiddo.
Spirited children are loud, boisterous, and opinionated. They can be challenging to parent, testing your patience at every turn. I have two kids, each bursting with personality, but my firstborn is undoubtedly the most tenacious. Let’s just say there’s a reason for the five-year gap between them—this mama needed a breather!
But here’s the thing: I wouldn’t trade my kids’ stubbornness for anything. That fiery spirit is something I believe can change the world. After all, we want our children to think independently, to be creative innovators, and to grow into bold entrepreneurs. The most impactful individuals in history didn’t just sit back and let life unfold—they fought fervently for what they wanted, even if it meant arguing over the color of their juice cup as toddlers.
And guess what? Science backs us up on this. A 2015 study published in Developmental Psychology tracked over 700 kids from childhood into adulthood. The findings revealed that the most headstrong kids—those who questioned authority, including parental authority—tended to have the most successful careers, often out-earning their more compliant peers.
But more than just success and income, we want to nurture kids who stand against injustice. We want them to question authority when it’s warranted, to be brave and assertive in standing up for what’s right. Yes, living with these passionate, outspoken children can be a challenge, and there are days when I just want to crawl under the covers after an hour-long debate with a four-year-old about whether shoes are mandatory for a pizza run.
Yet, we must strive to give our spirited kids some leeway. Providing them with boundaries and respect is essential, but not at the cost of stifling their passion. Let’s pick our battles wisely. If they’re unhappy with the options presented, try offering alternatives. Establish rules, but involve them in the process. Listening to their opinions can go a long way.
Also, take a moment to reflect on yourself. If you’re raising a strong-willed child, chances are you were one too. Remember how it felt to be misunderstood as a child, yearning to express your thoughts and feelings. I’m grateful my parents didn’t suppress my voice, and I’m determined not to do that with my kids either.
So let’s give our spirited, stubborn, and wild kids a break. They may be loud and headstrong now, but these are the very children who possess the potential to make a positive impact on the world. Let’s empower them to channel that fiery energy into meaningful action.
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In summary, while spirited kids can be a handful, their tenacity is a trait that can lead to greatness. By providing them with the right support and space to express themselves, we can help them harness their energy for positive change.