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$90 For a Throw Pillow? Get Real, Emily!
I fell for Emily Martinez a few years back when she introduced me to farmhouse decor that made my heart race more than a pint of ice cream. How could something so simple, like shiplap, inspire an obsession? I was ready to slap those horizontal boards on every wall in sight. I needed a farmhouse sink and shiny countertops too. Everything she creates has a magic touch, and her designs make my heart flutter. Emily and her husband, James, have this incredible knack for transforming rundown properties into family dream homes—all while keeping it relatively budget-friendly.
One of my favorite pastimes is binge-watching her show, “Home Renovation Masterclass.” The dramatic before-and-afters leave me in my living room, sledgehammer in one hand, paintbrush in the other, daydreaming about knocking down walls and adding rustic beams (after the shiplap, of course). “I really need to open this space up. It needs character and charm—like, right now,” is the constant chatter in my mind.
So, when I heard Emily was launching her own line of home accessories, I was beyond excited. I mean, her show is called “Home Renovation Masterclass,” and she’s a pro at elevating homes on a budget by reimagining and upcycling old materials. She makes dreams come true affordably.
Plus, she has kids and pets. This woman totally understands what kids can do to a home. They leave chaos in their wake! Surely, her new line of pillows, rugs, and decor would be reasonably priced, right? She gets it—accessories come and go, and it seems silly to splurge on the little things.
I envisioned filling my home with her chic accents, impressing guests who would “ooh and aah” as they wandered through. Would my space finally look like it belongs on HGTV? Absolutely!
But wait… my dreams have been crushed. Emily, $90 for a throw pillow? Seriously? I can’t believe it!
I refuse to pay that much for 22 inches of fabric. As a fellow mom, you know what happens to throw pillows: they get covered in boogers, pizza sauce, and juice. They become hiding spots for gum wrappers and lollipop sticks, and they’re usually dragged around as our kids use them to sled down the stairs. At some point, they’ll even end up between two bare bottoms—because kids.
Where is the budget-friendly pricing that made you famous, Emily? You built your reputation on making beautiful homes without breaking the bank. How about a pillow that doesn’t cost more than a week’s worth of groceries?
And don’t even get me started on the throw blankets—do they come infused with the tears of golden unicorns? Because if not, I’ll be cursing loudly when my dog decides it’s his new favorite nap spot, or my son uses it as a drop cloth for his greasy bike repairs. He’d definitely prefer that plush baby over the old towel I asked him (45 times) to use.
And a rug for $2,300? Really? Can it babysit, serve drinks, and clean itself? If not, I’d rather save my pennies for something more practical, like my kids’ college fund. This is some serious cash we’re talking about. Everyone knows when you have kids and pets, rugs are practically disposable. Go cheap or go bare—that’s the motto in my house.
Don’t get me wrong, Emily; your line is stunning. I expect nothing less from you. Those throws would look amazing on my couch, but let’s be real—no kid out there could keep it nice for long.
I’m honestly frustrated with you, Emily. Let us know when you have something that aligns with the “Home Renovation” theme without the inflated price tag. Until then, I’ll stick to my $5.99 T.J. Maxx pillows (which smell faintly of apple juice) and my clearance Target throw, while I watch my kids roll themselves up in the dining room rug like a taco—without holding my breath, thank you very much.
Summary
This article humorously critiques the high prices of home decor items from popular designer Emily Martinez, addressing the inevitable wear and tear caused by kids and pets. It reflects on the contrast between the designer’s reputation for budget-friendly renovations and the steep prices of her new product line.