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When Motherhood Overwhelms You (And You Contemplate Giving Up)
You’ve probably heard those stories about women who vanish, only to be discovered living an entirely different life. The reason? They sought to escape the overwhelming pressure of motherhood.
Selfish, right? Cowardly even. How could a mother ever leave her children behind? But I understand. Just yesterday, I found myself daydreaming about running away. I would never actually do it because, at the end of the day, my love for my kids and my life runs deep. But fantasies are just that—fleeting thoughts that provide a momentary escape.
There are certainly times when I ponder what it would be like to step away from the responsibilities of being a mom—if only for a couple of days or even just a few hours.
Yesterday was one of those days when motherhood felt particularly heavy. It was an exhausting stretch of caring for three little ones, filled with whining toddlers, squabbling siblings, and an infant who couldn’t sleep for more than 25 minutes due to a serious case of FOMO. I endured 12 hours of tattle-tales, wiping runny noses, comforting cries, and rocking a fussy baby. My 2-year-old cried if I wasn’t within her sight, my 4-year-old had a meltdown over the color of her spoon, and my 2-month-old rejected any semblance of a baby seat or swing.
By the end of it all, my arms ached, my mind felt defeated, and the endless shushing and bouncing had led to nothing but frustration. In that moment, I thought, “You win, motherhood. I give up.”
As I stirred butter into the mac and cheese, I reminisced about the quiet of my pre-kids life, where I could take a leisurely 15-minute shower and go a day without sticky hands on my skin.
Sure, it sounds like I’m complaining, and you’re right—I am. Does that make me a bad mom? I hope not. I prefer to think of it as being human and honest. Parenting is arguably the toughest job out there; so why pretend it’s always filled with joy and sunshine? There are days when you don’t particularly like your kids, and you just want to throw in the towel. Yet, the love you have for them keeps you going through the chaos.
Before the sanctimonious parents weigh in with their judgment, let me clarify: these feelings are not a daily occurrence. In fact, they are rare. My usual calm demeanor often prevails over my urge to wish it all away. Becoming a parent was a conscious choice I made three times, and I cherish the role. I am grateful for my healthy children and supportive partner, but that doesn’t negate the fact that parenting can be utterly exhausting, with really tough days thrown in.
I know that “this too shall pass,” “someday they won’t need you,” “it goes so fast,” and “they’re only little once.” But on days like yesterday, those phrases don’t provide the comfort I need.
When chaos reigns and it feels like the day will never end, I yearn for recognition from someone who understands. A simple text from another mom in the trenches can mean the world, reminding you that you’re not alone in this journey.
If I were inclined to pray, I would ask for more patience and resilience. But as I’m not, I’ll simply embrace the good days and push through the challenging ones, hoping to avoid making headlines for the wrong reasons.
For more insights and relatable stories, be sure to check out our other blog posts on the importance of understanding the nuances of parenthood and the resources available for those considering home insemination like the helpful guide from Make a Mom and the excellent resource available at Parents. And don’t forget to review our privacy policy for more information.
Summary
Motherhood can be overwhelming and exhausting, leading to moments where parents fantasize about escaping their responsibilities. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are normal and that seeking support from fellow parents can provide comfort. While parenting is a cherished role, it’s also filled with challenges that can feel insurmountable at times. Embracing the good days while navigating the tough ones is key to maintaining sanity.