Updated: April 17, 2018
Originally Published: January 13, 2012
Recently, there’s been a growing conversation surrounding our right to voice less-than-flattering feelings about our kids. How could we? What if they discover a post or tweet years down the line? Would it shatter their world? The internet is forever, after all, and those impulsive words can be hard to erase. Is the fleeting satisfaction of sharing our emotions truly worth the risk? Are we prioritizing our needs over their wellbeing?
No. We’re simply trying to survive.
Motherhood is a tough journey. While the beautiful and joyous moments certainly outnumber the frustrating ones, they don’t make up the whole experience. If there’s a mother out there who has sailed through this journey without a single complaint, I’d love to know her secret, because that just seems impossible. Some mothers turn to wine, others engage in retail therapy, some follow extreme diet plans, some seek diversion in affairs… and some choose to write. Which of these do you think is more harmful to a family?
Our children need us—right now. They crave our love, our presence, and our guidance in this very moment. If sharing a post or tweet helps me or any mother release negative feelings and be more present for our families, then it’s absolutely worth it.
My love for my children is unwavering. Every choice I make is influenced by how it affects them. They are my entire world, and I express my affection for them daily. But am I flawless? Absolutely not. More importantly, do they need to believe I am? If discovering that I found them momentarily exasperating 15 years from now is the worst thing they face, I’ll consider them the luckiest individuals alive and expect to be hailed as the Mother of the Millennium.
My writings, guest contributions, anonymous confessions, and the book I penned may not resonate with everyone. That’s perfectly alright. There are countless beautiful platforms celebrating the perfection of motherhood, and I encourage you to explore any of those—it’s your prerogative to read what you enjoy. However, it’s not your place to dictate what I or anyone else should express. When a mother of a special needs child shares that she loves her kids but doesn’t always like them, it’s not your role to correct her. That kind of behavior isn’t acceptable on the playground, and it’s certainly not appropriate online.
I teach my kids that they don’t have to like everyone, but they must treat everyone with kindness. I explain that if they dislike something that doesn’t affect them, they should simply ignore it. It’s about respecting others and minding our own business—simple lessons we all learned from our parents long ago, though some of us seem to have forgotten.
Of course, social media introduces a new dimension to parenting that our generation is pioneering. We must think carefully about the words we share, knowing our kids might read them one day. Personally, I believe we’ll have instilled enough love and care in them that they’ll handle a few tongue-in-cheek posts just fine.
After all, if my children can’t appreciate sarcasm, I’ve truly missed the mark as a mother.
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Summary
The challenges of motherhood are tough, and while sharing our experiences online can be met with criticism, it’s a vital outlet for many. Expressing our genuine feelings doesn’t make us selfish; instead, it can help us cope and be more present for our children. Encouraging kindness and respect in our kids is essential, and as long as we approach our digital expressions with care, we can navigate this new parenting landscape together.