If I’m honest, there’s a part of me that wishes I had accepted my doctor’s suggestion for a tubal ligation while I was recovering after my daughter’s birth. But it was all so new—she had just arrived, and my mind was filled with thoughts of, “Let’s just see if she makes it home before we make any permanent decisions.” However, if I were to tell my husband today that I’m not finished having kids, I believe he would be open to trying for a third.
Three children. Just the thought overwhelms me. As the only girl amongst two brothers—one of whom is my twin and the other just 14 months younger—I never had a moment to myself. There was always a sibling around. My husband, on the other hand, was the sole boy in a family of two younger sisters. He has vivid memories of being the only child for a while. These contrasting backgrounds seem to be at the root of why he might be open to expanding our family, while I feel quite content with two. Here are my reasons for stopping at two:
- Easier Dining Out: Having a family of four makes it simple to secure a table at restaurants. We fit perfectly at a four-top, avoiding the hassle of extra chairs or waiting for a bigger booth. Adding another child would mean either squeezing in or waiting for a larger table, which sounds like a headache.
- No “Two Against One” Dynamic: I remember how my brothers would team up against me, especially during childhood squabbles. With two kids, they’re united by their shared experiences, and there’s no chance for a third to gang up against the other. This solidarity gives me peace of mind.
- Balanced Gender Dynamics: We hit the jackpot with one boy and one girl, creating a harmonious mix. This balance of testosterone and estrogen holds steady—for now—until my daughter reaches her teenage years!
- Preserving Marital Sanity: Transitioning from one child to two was significantly more challenging than going from none to one. While I cherish our family of four, the adjustment was tough, and I felt like I was losing my mind at times. My husband, bless him, bore the brunt of my craziness. I’m not sure he’s ready to revisit that chaotic time.
- Man-on-Man Defense: This point resonates with my husband, a sports enthusiast. Managing a household when outnumbered is no easy feat. Having three kids would feel like a game with too many players—someone would have to blow the whistle!
- Mini-Van Aversion: I have nothing against mini-vans, but at 5’2”, I struggle just to see over the hood of a Mini Cooper, let alone navigate a vehicle that seats eight.
- Enjoying Sleep: Do I even need to explain? Sleepless nights are not something I want to voluntarily endure again. Yet, those first moments with a newborn—their intoxicating scent and the magic of their first laugh—make me question my resolve. Someone stop me before I talk myself into another pregnancy!
If you’re curious about home insemination methods, check out this excellent resource from ACOG on treating infertility. For those interested, you can also find more information about the use of artificial insemination kits at CryoBaby.
In summary, while I appreciate the idea of a larger family, my experiences and personal preferences have led me to feel complete with two children. The balance, the ease of family logistics, and the preservation of my sanity are just a few reasons why I’m content with our family of four.