In today’s digital age, it’s astonishing how people feel empowered to voice their opinions on topics they often know little about. A single comment on a friend’s social media post can ignite a wave of judgment and shame. Well, to that negativity, I say: I reject your shame.
I am planning to have a scheduled C-section for my upcoming baby, just as I did with my first child, and let me tell you, that does not make me any less of a good mother. Some women choose scheduled C-sections for various reasons, and while the overall C-section rate is indeed high and we could do better in supporting vaginal births, it’s not anyone’s place to question those choices.
Let Me Share My Story
When I was pregnant with my first son, Ethan, we had a detailed birth plan ready for our 35-week appointment. We envisioned a natural birth with minimal interventions—walking around the hospital, warm showers, and so on. However, during the ultrasound, we discovered that Ethan was not only breech but also in a position they called “transverse,” with his body stuck in an awkward position. Despite my efforts—lying on an ironing board with my legs in the air, hoping the baby would turn—he was simply unable to move.
I will never forget the moment when my OB, after a long, tense silence during the ultrasound, calmly informed us that a C-section would be necessary. Zach and I were relieved to hear that Ethan was safe, despite being stuck. Our immediate response was, “Oh, is that all?”
The surgical experience was intense; it reminded me of the final scenes in a dramatic movie. Two nurses had to work hard alongside the surgeon to get our little guy out. Yet, here comes the judgment, internet. When you criticize my doctor for opting for a C-section, you don’t know the struggles we faced. My doctor told us that had it been a few hundred years ago, neither Ethan nor I would have survived the labor.
With my second child, Lily, I went into early labor at just 29 weeks, mirroring my current pregnancy timeline. We faced multiple hospital visits, bed rest, and medication to halt contractions. When my water broke at 36 weeks, my medical team supported my desire to attempt a VBAC. However, when signs of distress appeared for my baby, my OB recommended a C-section, and I consented. I’ve come to terms with my two C-sections. One was a classic cut, and the other was a different technique. I believe it’s reckless to risk tearing or severe complications when I have two beautiful children who need their mom, including my little girl who is currently growing inside me. Ultimately, I don’t think she cares how she arrives, just that she arrives safely.
So, to the internet, I turn down your shame. I wouldn’t even be here as a mother if it weren’t for the timely decision to schedule my C-section. After all, my contractions were just two minutes apart when I checked in to deliver Ethan.
We can’t possibly know the reasons behind each woman’s choice for a C-section, and frankly, it’s not our business. The best thing we can do is to support each other by saying, “What matters is that both mom and baby are safe and healthy.” Let’s celebrate each other’s journeys instead of casting judgment.
For more insights on pregnancy and the journey to motherhood, check out this resource, and if you’re interested in learning about different family-building methods, visit this blog post for more information.
Summary
The author shares her experiences with C-sections, highlighting the importance of rejecting shame and judgment in the face of personal choices. She emphasizes the need for support among mothers, recognizing that everyone’s journey is unique. The article advocates for understanding and celebrating motherhood without criticism.