Updated: Jan. 27, 2017
Originally Published: Jan. 6, 2015
While maternity leave in the United States may not compare favorably to that of many other developed countries, for a working expectant mother, the prospect of having three months off can feel as surreal as hearing colors. That is, of course, if you can manage the unpaid absence. As I approach the conclusion of my maternity leave, I’ve come to identify six distinct phases that many women likely experience during this transformative time with their newborns.
1. Euphoria
If you’re anything like me and took a few days off before your baby arrived to prepare, those moments are filled with pure joy. There’s a mix of excitement and a sprinkle of anxiety, but the dominant feeling is one of sheer happiness. Three whole months. No work for three whole months!
2. Fatigue
The arrival of your little one brings a wave of exhaustion like no other. Gone are the days when hospitals had nurseries that would take care of babies, allowing mothers to rest after the marathon of labor. Now, babies stay in the room, which means after enduring hours of labor, the sleepless nights of caring for a newborn kick off immediately. And then you’re home. And the sleeplessness continues.
3. Nervousness
If you’re fortunate enough to have your partner home for a week or two after the baby’s birth, the moment they return to work can be daunting. What will you do all day with a tiny human? Can you manage the feedings, the naps, and that floppy-headedness (oh, that floppy head)? The days ahead seem daunting, stretching endlessly from morning to night.
4. Familiarity
Gradually, you start to find your rhythm. You and your baby develop a routine that revolves around their eating and sleeping habits. Even if it’s not a strict schedule, you begin to gauge their needs. The days feel shorter, your baby appears less fragile, and you even venture out of the house solo. When your baby smiles, those fleeting moments of joy make all the hours of bouncing around worth it.
5. Negotiation
You might begin to ponder if staying at home with your child could be a viable option. What if you could miss less of their early milestones by working part-time? You start to run the numbers in your mind, contemplating how you could manage on a single income. Maybe you’d give up cable, cut back on dining out, or find ways to save on gas…
6. Acceptance
Eventually, reality sets in. You recognize that for the time being, two incomes are necessary. Bills pile up, and the costs of labor and delivery weigh heavily. The thought of losing your home or, heaven forbid, your baby due to financial strain pushes you back toward the office after those twelve weeks.
For more insights into the journey of motherhood, you might find this post on home insemination engaging. And if you’re interested in fertility tips, Make a Mom offers excellent resources. For those navigating the complexities of pregnancy, the CDC provides valuable information.
In summary, maternity leave can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions and experiences, from blissful anticipation and overwhelming fatigue to the establishment of routine and eventual acceptance of the realities of two-income households. Each phase contributes to the incredible journey of new motherhood.