At first glance, my home might give off a vibe of cleanliness, but deep down, I’m a bit of a neat freak. I love having clear counters, spotless carpets, and shining toilets. A clean environment brings me joy. Imagine a fish swimming in a freshly cleaned tank—it’s a similar bliss. However, I have four kids.
Four kids who, unfortunately, don’t share my obsession with tidiness. Not even a little. I could eliminate the trash can and replace our couch with heaps of dirty laundry, and they probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. They seem completely immune to clutter, and I both envy and detest their ability to remain unfazed by the chaos around them.
Not only do they overlook dirt and disarray, but they also leave it behind. It’s almost miraculous how they can stroll through a clean room and still manage to create a disaster. It’s like vacuuming one spot only to turn around and find a trail of Goldfish cracker crumbs following you. Or when your child tracks in dog poop on the freshly mopped floor, oblivious to the mess they’re making. And let’s not even get started on how they wipe their hands on towels fresh out of the dryer.
Kids have an uncanny ability to turn once-clean household items into sticky, yucky messes. Here are eight household things that become utterly disgusting with kids around:
- Chairs: For adults, eating is straightforward—fork, mouth, repeat. But for kids, it’s a chaotic affair. They talk with full mouths, spill their drinks, and dig out anything squishy or crunchy with fingers that are often sticky or greasy. Chairs, therefore, become crusty messes faster than you can say “dried milk mustache.” And if your little ones like to run around in the nude, well, every chair in the house is now suspect, too.
- Appliances: In a child-free home, your appliances remain relatively untouched. However, with kids, you’ll find smudges and fingerprints on every appliance surface before you know it—how does a footprint end up on the refrigerator door?
- Trash Can Lid: You’d think throwing something away would be simple. But for kids, it’s a challenge. They’ll manage to dribble yogurt or juice all over the trash can lid before tossing their half-eaten snacks.
- Computer: I have a strict no-food rule near my computer, yet my laptop’s keyboard still somehow ends up with a strange crust. The screen is often splattered with unknown flecks, a mystery I can’t solve.
- TV Screen: If you have children, you can expect to watch your favorite shows through a haze of fingerprints. My kids seem to think the television screen needs a good poke to make the characters come alive.
- Light Switches: Kids don’t care what’s on their hands; whether it’s paint, peanut butter, or something worse, they’ll slap the light switch with no thought. My bathroom light switch once had a bizarre sticky orange substance on it—Cheetos? Doritos? The mystery remains.
- Walls: Who needs clean walls? Apparently, parents of young children do. Walls become canvases for boogers, toothpaste, and all sorts of mysterious drips that resemble a food fight. I can’t recall any specific incidents, yet my dining room walls look like they’ve survived a chaotic cafeteria brawl.
- Doors: Regularly sanitizing doorknobs is a good practice, but with kids, it’s just the beginning. They manage to make a mess not just on the knobs but also around the area, and somehow, the bottom of the door ends up dirty too. Maybe it’s from all the items shoved underneath while I’m trying to have a moment of peace.
Cleaning a house filled with kids is like building a sandcastle only to have the tide wash it away—over and over again. It’s not just the usual bathroom clean-up; the extras add an extra layer of chaos. If anyone needs me, I’ll be scrubbing a mysterious brown smear off the wall and hoping it’s just chocolate.
For further insights on parenting and maintaining a clean household, check out our post on keeping a clean house with kids. And if you’re on a fertility journey, visit Make a Mom for expert advice, or explore UCSF’s Center for valuable resources on home insemination.
Summary: With children, household items can quickly become messy and gross, from chairs and appliances to light switches and walls. This article highlights the challenges of maintaining cleanliness in a home filled with kids, emphasizing the chaotic nature of parenting.