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How I Came to Know My Mother-in-Law (Spoiler: One of Us Was Bare)
Let me just say, this wasn’t your typical introduction to a boyfriend’s mother. Sure, I had met her a couple of times at the front door for brief hellos, but this was the first time we truly connected—eye to eye—on a more personal level.
I was 19, and my boyfriend, Jake, was 21. After a long year apart at different colleges, we were thrilled to be back home for the summer. He had landed a house-sitting job for a few days, which meant we could finally ditch the awkward makeout sessions in cars and movie theaters. We were ready to play house for an entire 48 hours!
Then came the moment when our eyes locked. It felt electric, like we were staring into each other’s souls. But before we could savor the moment, everything went sideways.
Early one morning, Jake’s mother, Carol, used her key (she had a key?!) to sneak in, holding a basket of muffins for her dear son. “Surprise! Good mo—” she exclaimed as she burst into the bedroom. And just like that, we made eye contact again. There was that same beat, maybe two. I could see into her soul, and she saw right into my nakedness. And then, the screaming began.
Yes, I was literally caught in the act with my future husband, while his mother stood there in shock. Let’s just take a moment to digest that. In that brief moment of eye contact, I realized she disapproved of me. Not just because I was naked, but because I was everything she didn’t want her son to be involved with. She thought I was too bold, too boyish, and definitely not Catholic enough for her taste. Never mind the fact that her son was just as much of a “sinner.”
In her panic, she called my mother. Oh boy, did that not go well. My mom, bless her heart, was having none of it. Once I turned 18, she had happily let me make my own choices. So when Carol called to say her daughter was a “hellbound sinner” and a product of poor parenting, my mom lost it. No one insults her parenting, especially not over her (nearly) adult daughter’s choices.
So while both moms were having meltdowns, Jake and I threw some bags in his car and hit the road to start fresh at a new college across the country. We escaped for 14 months to find ourselves.
Ironically, Carol’s overreaction ended up bringing us closer together. Her wide-eyed shock helped us evaluate what we really felt for each other. A year later, we tied the knot, and the two mothers didn’t even speak at the wedding.
Fast forward 16 years, and while there’s still some tension, Carol and I have reached a sort of understanding. In fact, having kids seemed to be the magic solution that softened her heart. So like any overachiever, I had three children!
While she still has her sharp comments (“I wish I could write all day instead of cleaning!”), she’s also become a caring grandmother, always willing to lend a hand. We don’t see eye to eye on many things—parenting, politics, or religion—but we’ve found common ground, like our mutual love for a hot cup of tea, White House Christmas ornaments, and high-quality children’s shoes, albeit pricey ones.
And just recently, while she was at my place helping me out during a tough time with our son in the hospital, she discovered a large glass dildo under my pillow. But she kept it to herself, changing the sheets without a word. I came home to find everything neatly arranged, with the glass dildo back under my pillow, as if to say, “I see you, and I accept you.”
So, while my mother-in-law may not always approve of me, and I may not always approve of her, we’ve reached a point of mutual acceptance. Glass dildos and all.
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In summary, my unconventional introduction to my mother-in-law was filled with shock and chaos, but over the years, we have forged a surprising bond that allows us to navigate our differences with humor and grace.