I was engaged in conversation with other parents about teachers, school events, and policies. The atmosphere was filled with warmth and support, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was merely pretending to be a parent.
From the time I was just five years old, cradling my newborn sister, I knew I wanted to be a mom. Her tiny fingers and soft hair captured my heart, and I eagerly took on the role of caregiver whenever I could. I was smitten with the idea of having kids of my own one day.
Now, I’m the proud mother of two (who I still affectionately refer to as my babies). Surprisingly, the baby stage felt like a breeze for me. Their needs were simple and repetitive: feed, cuddle, change, repeat. There were moments of doubt and sheer exhaustion, but for the most part, I felt confident in my abilities.
Then came the next phase, where I often felt out of my depth. While some things still come naturally, there are plenty of times I feel like I’m just winging it.
Mealtime Madness
Take mealtimes, for instance. Each night, I transform into a short-order cook, preparing multiple meals that my kids might reject. I despise this routine and want it to change. I’ve heard that the solution is to present them with a few options and let them know this is dinner—eat or wait until the next meal. I tried that approach. My younger son managed to eat only strawberry yogurt, while my older son spent hours crying on the floor, hangry and frustrated. Typical advice doesn’t seem to work for him, so here I am again, back to being a short-order chef.
Throughout the day, questions bombard my mind without answers. Should I choose organic food or save that money for their future? Is it better to work more or less? Should I enroll them in piano, swim, and art lessons, even though I dislike being busy, or let them have free rein? Did I listen to their stories and fears? Was I distracted? Did I raise my voice too often? And what about our couch—is it filled with flame-retardant materials that could harm us? Are our cell phones little cancer sticks?
Perhaps it’s the age we live in, where we are inundated with information—conflicting articles online, social media filled with parents who seem to have all the answers for the day. Each decision I make as a parent feels charged with overwhelming importance.
More than anything, it seems bizarre that I’m the one responsible for these choices. I’ll be 40 in just a few years, but I still feel like that little girl with her baby sister.
The Chaos of Parenting
Raising kids is chaotic and messy—not just in the physical sense, as my living room is currently a disaster zone of tape, dirt, and 78 Matchbox cars. Most days, it feels like we’re fumbling through this parenting journey, figuring things out as we go. Plans often crumble due to tired, cranky, or sick kids—and don’t forget the exhausted parents, trying to keep it all together.
Maybe the only certainty in parenting is that we know very little. I genuinely believe that love, in the form of kisses and hugs, can mend almost anything (I had that newborn stage down!). Perhaps that’s all I truly need to offer my children, and in time, everything else will fall into place.
Helpful Resources
If you’re exploring the journey of parenthood, check out some helpful resources like Progyny for topics related to pregnancy and home insemination. You can also find insights on fertility boosters for men at Make a Mom. And if you want to learn more about the process, you can visit Intracervical Insemination for additional guidance.
In summary, parenting is a journey filled with uncertainty and love, where we often feel like we’re improvising. But amidst the chaos, remember that affection and support may be the most important gifts we can give our children.