When I was expecting, I envisioned the early days of motherhood filled with serene moments—smooth labor, easy breastfeeding, and a flat tummy post-baby. However, reality hit hard; motherhood is chaotic, unpredictable, and often involves making tough decisions. Here’s a list of things from my first year as a mom that I refuse to apologize for (and neither should you).
1. Choosing a C-Section
There seems to be a persistent myth surrounding unnecessary C-sections, but let me clarify: they weren’t handing them out like candy at my doctor’s office. I was desperate for one. My baby was in a Frank breech position, causing me excruciating pain as he nestled under my rib cage. After weeks of agony and a scheduled C-section at 39 weeks, I was relieved when my water broke at 38 weeks. I hadn’t anticipated the reality of major surgery until I was being wheeled into the operating room.
Yes, I had a C-section, but I can assure you, I didn’t take the “easy way out.” There was nothing glamorous about it; I was in a sterile environment with my arms restrained and my body cut open. The scar is a constant reminder, both pink and raised, but I wouldn’t change a thing about how my son entered the world. I’m proud of my birth story and won’t apologize for it—not even a little.
2. Opting for Formula Feeding
Breastfeeding is often praised, yet the same support isn’t typically extended to mothers who choose formula. Let me be clear: fed is best. I wholeheartedly support all feeding methods, but I refuse to feel guilty about formula feeding my child. I faced medical challenges that prevented me from producing any milk, and it wasn’t until I had almost given up that anyone mentioned this possibility. The decision to exclusively formula feed was liberating for our family. It allowed my husband to bond with our baby during feeding times and gave me the opportunity to heal. Our son is thriving, and I don’t regret my choice for one moment.
3. Letting My Baby Cry It Out
At 13 days old, we moved our son to his own crib. It was a decision made out of necessity, as my husband was returning to work, and we needed some structure. We followed a method called “Moms On Call,” which included allowing him to cry for a few minutes. Surprisingly, he started sleeping through the night at just 10 weeks! This approach works for us, and it has taught our son to self-soothe. I’m unapologetic about our choices that work for our family.
4. My Husband’s Involvement in Bath Time
Bath time and bedtime have been my husband’s domain since day one, and I’m grateful for it. I asked him to prioritize this time with our son, knowing how essential it is for them to bond. While he works hard to support our family, I use that time to catch up on chores or simply breathe. It’s a win-win situation that I won’t apologize for.
5. Traveling Without the Baby
Having a baby can put a strain on a relationship, and stepping away for a while can be necessary. When we leave our little one with loving grandparents to travel, it allows us to reconnect as a couple. People often ask if it’s our first time away from him, and I can’t help but feel judged. We deserve to focus on each other, and it reinforces our commitment to our son. Plus, who doesn’t want the occasional chance to sleep past 7 a.m.? I’m proud of this decision and will continue to prioritize our relationship.
I stand by all of these choices. They’ve contributed to a happy, healthy family, and I see no reason to apologize.
For more insights on fertility and motherhood, check out this excellent resource from Mount Sinai. If you’re considering home insemination, you might find our guide on how to use an insemination kit helpful. Additionally, for those looking to enhance fertility, we recommend checking out this fertility booster for men.
Summary
The author reflects on the choices made during her first year of motherhood, emphasizing the importance of not feeling guilty about decisions like opting for a C-section, formula feeding, and allowing her baby to cry it out. She stresses that every family’s journey is unique and deserving of respect.