If My Husband Were the Babysitter, He’d Be Out of a Job

When my husband Jake was younger, his dad was unemployed for a stretch, leaving his mom as the primary provider. She looks back on that period with pride, having managed to support her family single-handedly. Meanwhile, my father-in-law refers to that time as “when I babysat Jake,” which is undeniably infuriating. The idea that a father caring for his child equates to babysitting is absurd. Why is it that mothers “mother” while fathers “babysit”? Let me clarify: when Jake is looking after our little one, it’s far from babysitting.

Sunday Shenanigans

Take, for example, this past Sunday. I had a deadline to meet before noon, so Jake volunteered to take care of our 18-month-old while I focused on my work. Moments later, who should wander back upstairs but our little one, fork in hand and ready to play. I found Jake fast asleep on the couch! Is that what you’d expect from a babysitter? Absolutely not! I would have to let that babysitter go.

Quality Time vs. Chaos

When our sitter arrives, she brings an impressive array of engaging activities for our child. In contrast, Jake thinks a trip to the hardware store for light bulbs counts as quality time. The babysitter cleans up after lunch, while Jake has been known to remove batteries from smoke alarms after a pizza mishap. I would be concerned if a babysitter took it upon themselves to tamper with home safety devices!

The babysitter gives our child baths and dresses him in pajamas before bed. Jake, on the other hand, sometimes puts our son to sleep in the same clothes he wore all day, sticky hands and all. If a babysitter were ever to do something like that, I can assure you they wouldn’t be invited back.

Handling Fussy Moments

When our little one is fussy, the babysitter calms him with lullabies and cuddles. Jake, however, has no qualms about letting him roll around on the floor of the lumber aisle at Home Depot. That would not win a babysitter any favors with me.

If the baby is unwell, the babysitter carefully follows my instructions for medication and keeps me in the loop with updates on our son’s health. Jake? He takes the baby to the shopping mall instead. I certainly wouldn’t appreciate it if a babysitter pulled the same stunt.

Teaching Moments

The babysitter teaches our child proper handwashing techniques. Jake, meanwhile, finds delight in teaching him how to flush the toilet—constantly. Not quite the skill set I’d be looking for in a babysitter.

When our little one naps, the babysitter tidies up and enjoys some quiet time with a book. Jake, however, prefers to tackle yard work. While I appreciate the initiative, I would need to remind the babysitter to stay inside while the baby sleeps.

The Payoff

And let’s not forget, the babysitter earns a paycheck. Jake, however, enjoys the reward of a cheerful child and a loving spouse.

Trusting My Husband

Would I trust my husband to care for our child? Absolutely not! His carefree and sometimes reckless approach to parenting is a stark contrast to my more cautious style, which aligns more closely with that of our babysitter. I wish he could experience the same underlying worry I feel for our child’s safety each day—the kind that makes me vigilant about protecting my most treasured gift. Ideally, I’d love for him to wrap our little one in bubble wrap and keep him surrounded by soft blocks for safety.

It seems that fathers can be somewhat chaotic babysitters, but they often excel as dads. I realize that our child benefits immensely from the unique bond they share, just as much as he does from my care. I recognize the value of those trips to the hardware store in footie pajamas and the joy of spending time together, regardless of the food choices they make. Even if he tumbles off a slide meant for older kids, running a slight fever, our son will undoubtedly know his father loves him and has his back in a way only he can provide. While I may worry when I’m away, Jake and our son will be laughing, exploring parks and shopping outlets, having spontaneous water fights, and indulging in too much spicy food. They’ll pet stray dogs and get scrapes on their knees, while I’ll be waiting to wash those little hands and kiss those bumps. In the end, we will all benefit from this lively dynamic—mom, dad, and baby.

Conclusion

In summary, while my husband’s approach to fatherhood may not align with traditional babysitting standards, it’s clear that he brings something invaluable to the table as a dad. They create memories that are uniquely theirs, and in the end, that’s what truly matters.