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My Family’s Fascination with My Menstrual Cycle: A Fun Family Experiment
When my mother first got her period at age 13, her own mother responded with a slap across the face. My mom explained that this reaction was typical “back in the old country,” but assured me that she wouldn’t react that way when my time came. Instead, she handed me a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves. At just 12 years old, I flipped through the stark black and white photographs in this 1970s classic, trying to glean information about menstruation. Although I can’t recall much of the text, the images of those pubic hairs are still vivid in my mind.
As a self-proclaimed feminist who enjoys lattes and has a bit too much education, I have aimed to foster a more positive perspective about my body and its functions. This became especially important after my husband and I welcomed our son and daughter into the world. I devoted considerable thought to ensuring my daughter felt comfortable discussing menstruation.
Last year, we initiated a little experiment: every time I got my period, my husband would take the kids to buy me candy. Okay, I proposed the idea, but he was on board.
My reasoning was straightforward: let’s normalize a taboo subject (yes, the vagina) and make it part of our everyday conversations. In fact, we aimed to create positive associations with it (hello, candy!).
We broached the subject at the dinner table with our daughter and her eight-year-old brother. My husband and I maintained a casual tone, as though we were discussing an upcoming playdate.
Me: “Guess what? I have good news. I’m on my period.”
Husband: “Oh, that’s nice. Kids, let’s get Mommy some chocolate after dinner.”
Son: “What’s a period?”
Me: “It’s sort of like a nosebleed, but from a vagina. It doesn’t hurt.”
Son: “Blood comes out of your vagina?”
Me: “Yup! It happens once a month to women and teen girls.”
Son: “Oh. [Pause.] I want chocolate, too.”
Me: “Don’t worry – I’ll share. Just make sure Dad picks out something delicious.”
I felt reassured by our progress. My daughter listened intently, my son appeared to be on his way to becoming the world’s most open-minded young man, and my husband managed to keep his composure at the dinner table. However, the follow-up conversations were a bit alarming:
“Mommy, my nose is having a period!”
“I have candy because Mommy has blood on her vagina!”
“Mommy, can we get M&M’s for your period?”
If only these comments didn’t arise in public!
On the whole, the preliminary results of this experiment are encouraging. My kids aren’t squirming at the mention of vaginas, my husband avoids euphemisms like “Aunt Flo,” and I end up with plenty of candy. I’ll keep you updated when my daughter enters her teenage years. Until then, I need to prepare a suitable explanation for why other women in their lives—like teachers, neighbors, and the mail carrier—might politely decline the offer of “period chocolate.”
If you’re looking for more information on related topics, you might find this post on home insemination interesting. And for those seeking fertility tips, check out this great resource.
In summary, by openly discussing menstruation and associating it with something fun like candy, my family is working towards destigmatizing this natural process. The journey continues, and I’m curious to see how our conversations evolve as my children grow.