I Wish I Hadn’t Shared My Kids’ Names Before They Arrived

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When I discovered I was having boys, I was instantly filled with excitement about what to name them. For my first son, choosing the name was a no-brainer—William, named after my cherished maternal grandfather who had passed away a few years earlier. However, picking his middle name turned out to be a challenge. I considered my paternal grandfather’s name, but my husband also wanted to honor his grandfather, with whom he had a special connection.

In our eagerness, we shared these name ideas with family. Everyone had something to say—strong feelings, even tears were shed over our choices. While I could understand the emotional ties to the names, I had completely underestimated how insistent some family members would be about what we, as parents, should decide.

Ultimately, we settled on my husband’s grandfather’s name for the middle name. We liked it, but there was also pressure and guilt involved in the decision. This experience was just a glimpse of what was to come—family members sharing their often strong opinions on everything from feeding to sleeping routines.

As time went by, I grew a thicker skin and became more confident in my decisions as a mother. However, when it was time to name our second child, I foolishly opened the floor to family opinions again. Why hadn’t I learned my lesson?

This time, we weren’t considering names with deep emotional connections. We just wanted something simple and classic. Our choices included names like Ethan, Oliver, and Noah—nothing outrageous. We were leaning toward Noah, inspired by our favorite bedtime stories.

But when we casually shared our thoughts with family, the reactions varied. Some loved it, some were indifferent, and others outright opposed it. I was taken aback by the intensity of their reactions; it wasn’t just “I’m not a fan,” it was more along the lines of “Please, don’t name him that!” Feeling overwhelmed, I excused myself from the conversation, locked myself in the bathroom, and cried.

Looking back, it does seem dramatic, but I felt so strongly that our baby was a Noah. The harsh criticism from family weighed heavily on me, especially since I was pregnant and hormonal. That very night, my water broke and I went into labor with Noah.

Although the name debate didn’t overshadow my labor experience, it lingered in the background. When my little one finally arrived, with his adorable little expressions, we affectionately started calling him “Buddy.” However, when our older son, Max, came to meet his new brother, he immediately asked about his name. I wasn’t sure how much he’d been paying attention during the naming talks, but when we told him we hadn’t settled on a name yet, he looked at us as if we were crazy. “His name is Noah,” he said, completely convinced.

That sealed the deal, and we happily named him Noah. As for the family members who had been critical? They never mentioned it again. Once Noah was born, that was his name, no negotiations.

I don’t hold any ill will toward my family for expressing their opinions on our name choices. They could have been a bit more open-minded, but we did put our ideas out there. It’s a lesson learned: naming your child is a deeply personal decision and should ultimately be left to the parents.

If I could do it all over again, I would keep my naming plans completely private. The opinions of others, in the grand scheme of things, don’t really matter. After all, we’re just talking about a name.

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In summary, sharing our baby name ideas with family resulted in unexpected pressure and strong opinions, leading to a deeper understanding of how personal parenting decisions truly are.