I’ve experimented with Kegels, laser hair removal, and even indulged in a few vibrators. There’s little I wouldn’t try for my vagina, including vaginal steaming!
If you thought steaming was just for tea, veggies, and the occasional facial, think again! Vaginal steaming—or V-Steam, as it’s often called—is believed to enhance fertility, alleviate cramps, detoxify, boost lubrication, and simply freshen things up down there. Personally, my vagina has always been in good shape—no yeast infections here!
The practice of vaginal steaming has deep roots in Korean tradition, but it has gained popularity recently, largely thanks to celebrity trendsetter, Emma Roberts. She seems to embrace every new wellness craze while the rest of us are still figuring out the last one. Just when I finally decided to go the laser route after years of waxing, Emma embraced a full bush. The audacity!
Unlike the Hollywood crowd, I grew up in a household of science enthusiasts who favored practicality and proof over trends. So, I felt a bit skeptical about vaginal steaming, which reminded me of the dubious benefits of colon cleansing and trendy detox diets. To get a professional opinion, I spoke with my OB-GYN friend. Her reaction? Laughter, followed by, “You’re kidding, right? Is that a real thing?” After assuring her it was, she cautioned, “It might disrupt the natural bacteria down there. It’s why we don’t recommend douching.”
While the scientific backing for vaginal steaming is flimsy at best, I wondered if it might provide a soothing experience—like enjoying a facial or sipping a nice glass of wine. So, I decided to give it a try.
I found a spa in my area that offers vaginal steaming, but at $75 a session, it’s not the most accessible option for everyone. Plus, why pay for something I could do at home? Embracing my inner pioneer, I embarked on a DIY vaginal steam. A quick Google search led me to a guide from the Yinova Center, a well-regarded alternative medical center.
A typical vaginal steam involves using herbs. I rummaged through my spice cabinet, contemplating what my vagina might appreciate. Chili flakes? No way. Oregano? Too pizza-like. I considered lavender and rose but settled for some fresh thyme and rosemary I had in the fridge.
The traditional setup for a V-Steam includes a special chair with a hole for the steam to rise. Unfortunately, I didn’t have such a chair on hand, but I did have a toilet and a pot that fit perfectly on the lid. My inner pioneer was pleased!
After boiling water, I let it cool for about ten minutes to avoid burning my sensitive areas. I poured the water into my pot and cautiously positioned it on the toilet. Taking a deep breath, I sat down, envisioning my “yoni” blossoming like a flower as the steam enveloped it.
However, my yoni had other ideas! I barely managed to stay seated for a few minutes before the steam began to feel uncomfortably hot. Seriously, Emma Roberts, what’s the deal? Was this just a trend to make the rest of us feel inadequate?
Despite the discomfort, I was determined to persist. Unfortunately, the pot heated up beneath me, so I wrapped a towel around it to shield myself from the heat—definitely not the most glamorous setup!
To pass the time, I flipped through a magazine and clipped my nails, but I had to get up frequently to give my vagina a breather from the steam. After thirty minutes of this ordeal, I finally stood up, surprised by the condensation trickling down my leg, which made me wonder if I had accidentally peed myself. Nope, just a steam facial for my vagina!
As I stood there, pants-less and puzzled about how I just spent half an hour, I came to a realization: my vagina is perfectly fine the way it is. It’s healthy and functions as it should, so steaming seemed unnecessary. Far from feeling relaxed, I felt like my nether regions were on fire. I don’t mind suffering for beauty or health (I get acid peels regularly), but the V-Steam didn’t deliver any benefits. If you’re curious about squatting over a pot of hot water, then maybe it’s for you. If not, you’re really not missing much (at least I got my nails done).
If I wanted to freshen things up, I’d prefer to chew gum or just take a shower, as usual. Perhaps Emma Roberts has a magical vagina that can handle the heat, or maybe it’s just more relaxing at an actual spa. For now, I’ll stick to steaming my veggies!
For those interested in learning more about infertility and home insemination, check out this excellent resource: Women’s Health on Infertility. Also, if you’re considering home insemination, you might want to explore this guide for helpful tips. Finally, see Cryobaby’s Home Insemination Kit for trusted products.
In summary, my attempt at vaginal steaming was an experience filled with skepticism and discomfort. While some may find it relaxing, I discovered that my vagina is perfectly content as is.