Your cart is currently empty!
Stop Sugarcoating Parenting — Let’s Get Real About It
I dove headfirst into the world of parenting advice long before my daughter was born last year. As a self-proclaimed research enthusiast, preparing for parenthood felt like embarking on a major project. Plus, my pregnancy came with a side of severe morning sickness, giving me more time to read than I’ll likely ever have again.
Throughout my reading journey, I’ve noticed a recurring theme in how people discuss the challenges of parenting infants, and it’s beginning to grate on me: “It can be difficult.”
For instance, “It can be difficult to balance caring for a newborn while grappling with sleep deprivation.” Or, “If you’re being urged by hospital staff to start supplementing, it can be difficult not knowing when your milk will come in.” And let’s not forget the classic, “While sleep regressions can be difficult for everyone involved, they won’t last forever!”
Honestly, the phrase “It can be difficult” feels like one of the biggest understatements out there. It hardly captures the true nature of this immense labor of love. Now, I’m all for celebrating the joys of parenting — there are plenty — but when it comes to the tough times, we should be more candid about what they really entail.
It’s not just that it can be difficult; it simply is difficult, period. It’s challenging in ways you never thought possible. It’s downright impossible at times.
At 3 AM, when you’re dragging your weary self from your bed to the crib while hearing that persistent ringing in your ears over your baby’s cries, you’ll be tempted to throw in the towel. But instead, you’ll find yourself soothingly saying, “Hey there, little one… What’s wrong?” Trust me, “difficult” won’t even scratch the surface of what you’re feeling.
The next morning, if you’re co-parenting, you might compare notes with your partner, saying things like “I think I managed about three hours of sleep, but it’s hard to tell since I kept dozing off when things quieted down.” You won’t be using the word “difficult” to describe the sleepless chaos.
Instead, you might call it a nightmare. Or hell. Or perhaps even despair so deep you forget your own name. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and that includes a time in my life when I faced homelessness.
So why do we often downplay the struggles of parenting? Perhaps it’s because we view the challenges of welcoming a new tiny human as a deeply personal journey. After all, it’s unique to every family. But here’s the kicker: privacy can be isolating. It’s that sense of staring into the abyss alone, wondering if you’re the only one who has ever thought about building a time machine to convince your past self to reconsider reproducing. Spoiler alert: you’re not alone.
New parents are already isolated enough. While experiences may vary, they aren’t so different that we can’t discuss them openly. So, I propose a rephrasing of every parenting resource that touches upon the more challenging aspects of raising the next generation: Instead of saying, “It can be difficult,” let’s say, “It is completely impossible… but you’ll manage, somehow.”
For example, “It is completely impossible to adjust to caring for a newborn while also dealing with sleep deprivation, but you’ll do it, somehow.” Because it’s true, and you will.
If you’re looking for more guidance, check out resources on pregnancy and home insemination at the World Health Organization. Plus, for anyone interested in at-home insemination tools, consider checking out this comprehensive kit. And for more insights, take a look at this blog post.
In summary, let’s drop the euphemisms and be honest about the challenges of parenting. It’s tough, but it’s also a journey of resilience and love.